Another poem

I've been thinking of posting a poem here from time to time.

Here's one I wrote on April 21st, after attending a poetry reading with my cousin:

In lassitude, I'm worn
Frayed like so much tattered thread
As fragmented, enmeshed as a mass of yo-yo strings,
Separated from their shifty hubs

I'm beckoned, yet I resist the pull,
So strong it is, as the original course of a river
Must violently call her sister back to her mother-bed
Here roars such certainty

Pillowed in moss, festooned in stringy garlands,
Some forest king's best captive, willing, crustily unsavoury
Last week's rank argumetns unshed from heavy pockets
A silvered moon hangs, silently, aware.

...it's just a draft, but feel free to let me know what you think of it.

Enjoy your week!

Happy World Fair-Trade Day

After my last post, I'm not sure if anyone still wants to sit through another such long-winded episode, so I will keep it succinct this time!

Today, we are experiencing gale-force winds, and I'm perusing some local indie musicians online, drinking deliciously bold fair-trade coffee and thinking about pastries, or rather, macarons (surprise, surprise!). I think I have found a bakery in Toronto that sells good ones and I'm dying to check it out. P'raps soon.

This weather really is conducive to staying in and writing, or doodling, or something along those lines. I'm thinking of venturing out to the Ten Thousand Villages nearby because they're having a special event for world fair-trade day, which I found about when I was in there the other day, puttering about downtown. I came home with coffee beans, cheese curds, snack for bible study (all from the market), and chocolate and a paperweight from this store. I've been eyeing the paperweight for probably 7 years and I've now finally bought one:)

Well, I'm off, hoping I don't get smacked into the side of a building by this wind! haha.

Chocolate Stetsons and Blizzards

The last stop on my trip was Calgary. I enjoyed a relaxing Greyhound ride from Edmonton, and even wrote a little more of my story on the way, which was heartening. My friend Rebecca met me at the depot and we headed to a potluck she had organized for some other med students, and despite not being a part of that world, I enjoyed the interaction with her fellow students. We were able to have some wonderful discussions in the next few days, which mutually encouraged us as well.

On the following day, Rebecca had planned a hike up to Ribbon Creek Falls (by Kananaskis), and I was more than happy to be included in that. She had invited some other friends, and before heading up the trail, we had a picnic lunch at a table near the parking lot. We were mostly through our meal when a blizzard came up out of nowhere, and we sat huddled under blankets before deciding to wait it out in our cars.

After about fifteen minutes, the storm died down and we decided to proceed- not the easiest thing, considering it involved navigating a stroller over the now ankle-deep drifts across the path. However, we braved the trail and enjoyed the hike with these friends before they decided to head back to the city.
Undaunted, Rebecca and I continued in hopes of reaching the falls, but the trailblazers before us had not made it the whole way and we decided not to eke out our own path for several more kilometres before having to turn around. I can't describe the feeling of coming around a bend and finding ourselves surrounded by mountain on nearly all sides, or the clouds covering the mountains, then clearing to reveal their awesome heights. It was truly magnificent to be a part of all of this.
Rebecca is an amazing listener and asks all the right questions, including the ones that can make you squirm, but make you really think about what you are saying. This resulted in some very honest conversations, and there's nothing like hiking through snow for 14+ km to give you time to talk- it was wonderful. We were blissfully exhausted that night, but not so blissfully ready to wake up early for church. She had friends that were visiting from Africa and we visited the church where they would be that day, a small, closely-knit cowboy church. I hadn't been to one for a long time, since last time I was in Alberta, I believe, so it felt familiar in some ways but quite unlike the city church I'm now used to.

I had the good fortune to visit my cousins who live in Calgary, and was treated to my cousin's delectable cooking. More great conversation ensued, including going through an album of their trip to Germany. My cousin was borrowing his friend's car, so I was driven in an Audi RS4, and it was a pret-ty sweet ride, I have to say:) I'm blessed to be in touch with them and be able to visit from time to time, and they are so generous to have me over when I am around.

Rebecca and I went out for breakfast the next day (my last before flying out), and I accompanied her to school and developed some more of my story while she worked with a friend.

Later, I got to meet my friend Rachel for coffee, and talk about how much has changed since school, and the places we're at. She's in seminary and took time out of her crazy end-of-year assignment crunch for me, which was great. It's funny the depth you can have when talking with friends you have things in common with, right off the bat, and it's not unwelcome, know what I mean? I'm not really expressing it the best, but I was so encouraged by Rachel and our talks, in my life, in my faith, in my creative efforts. I hope that was mutual, that I encouraged her as well. She's a terrific photographer, by the way, so check out her photo blog if you wish:)

That evening, I got together with Amanda, a dear friend with whom I also lived in first year, along with her husband and new baby. I had missed her sense of humour! and insights, and it was neat to witness her at this stage in her life and be reconnected.

So ended my wonderful journey- one that not only physically distanced me from whence I had come, but in other ways, giving me resolve in some aspects of my life, and freedom in others.

Since I couldn't come up with any equal synonyms, you may have found this post repeating a common thread- that of encouragement. I was astounded how much I was uplifted by meeting again with dear friends and relatives, and how much they have enriched, and still do, my life in so many ways. In a time where I often struggle with what I'm even good at or want to do in life, I have been given the boon of affirmation when it was not expected, and I treasure that. It's not always this conclusive of a feeling, but for now, I really sense I have some direction I can take with some of these decisions.

To each of you that has contributed to this, I thank you, inadequately, but deeply.


...I almost forgot, the chocolate stetsons reference is in regards to some of these that were being sold in the Calgary airport:)

Scribblings and scrabblings

What does that even mean, you ask? Well, the next stop on my "western tour" as I like to call it (heheh) was Edmonton, and I had the privilege of experiencing art of both the written and visual kind. It was balm to my soul...did I say that already?...and I started to feel like I could really join this world, this type of genre. Isn't it crazy to think that we can actually pursue our dreams? For some reason it's a radical thought sometimes for me.

Anyways, I got to spend some time with my cousin Julie and her family, and attend a poetry reading as part of the Edmonton Poetry Festival, which she is involved with. Not sure what to expect, as last time I had been to one with her, I was so much younger, insecure and not really able to take in the poetry as well. This time, I felt like a peer, like I belonged here, and the poetry was punctuated by a harpist playing between readers; it was enriching, inspiring, and I went home and wrote three poems out of it.

That's what art should be, I realized then- it should make you want to create something yourself. Art begets more art, then.

We ate at a vegetarian restaurant on Whyte Ave and had a wonderful conversation about our lives, our likes and so on. She's brilliant, and profound, and I appreciate her insights and advice.

Julie and me

My friend Sharlene, with whom I stayed, was a wonderful host. We lived together in first year and have stayed in touch (you may remember her from when she came to Toronto and we went to the CN Tower). I have to say, she really spoiled me in humouring my whims, which resulted in trying to find one poetry reading location in a sketchy part of the city- I owe her for that one!One evening, I met her at her workplace, and we headed downtown to the Alberta Art Gallery. If you get a chance to go, I would highly recommend the experience; the glass and metal structure is remarkable, and I love how the staircase is situated.

When we went, there was a special exhibit on Degas («je raffole de Degas!»), and it was incredible! The bronze statue of the 14-year-old dancer was highlighted as part of it, and I so badly wanted to take a picture but I don't think the museum employee seated just next to it would have been too thrilled. I've seen photos of it, but they don't do it justice- you have to see it from all angles, in my opinion.

The view from the top floor, at the top of the stairs

Sharlene, striking a pose

Sweet staircase

Another friend I got to see was Lacie- we lived on the same floor on second year. It was a treat to see her again, and see her husband, and meet their cute kids. We had such a great chat at her house, and walked down the street to meet up with one of our profs who lives there now. I think we both have that spark when we get together, of just being able to pick up where you left off, and encourage each other in our goals. She's a great parent and I hope that she will pursue some of the ideas she shared with me; we both like to write and she's terrific at it.

That's my visit to Edmonton in a nutshell!

My western family

During my college years, there was one family in particular that took me in as theirs, and I can't forget their kindness. Even years later, after not really being in touch, they were so glad to see me, and went out of their way so that it would work to get together. Just thinking about it, I'm touched.

See, can't you tell we're related? heheh.



I ended up attending the local trade show (my first) with the whole family except the parents, and it was simply enjoyable to just tag along with whatever the family was doing, just hanging out, doing everyday things. We all went out for breakfast the morning after I arrived, which was funny since it's the parents' tradition and they weren't even there, since they were out of town.

I had rented a car to drive up there, and enjoyed the trip, singing along with the radio or by myself:) I know you're all thankful you weren't there for that.


I left in the evening and had the loveliest drive back, through the flat, flat prairies that made poems spring to mind, it was so beautiful. The threat of rain made the clouds hang dark and heavy, and the short, pale stubble in the fields glowed as though it was lit from below. (Okay, that was the poem. In prose format.) :)


That night, I met up with the parents, who had just flown in, and had the most amazing talk with the mom. We talked of church, family, our own ups and downs of life and relationship. This was so impacting; encouraging and challenging at the same time. It's incredible how profound a conversation you can have with your own kin, even after four years of little contact. Because that's what we are, kin, in the global sense. What a thought!


Something that struck me during the first week of the trip and never quite left me was the different manifestations of faith that I could see in those friends I was visiting. How differently each person expressed their beliefs. How much of a span there was in the way that we each held onto those. How personal or public they could be. It was really humbling to think that in many ways, I've changed, I've grown, since living there. In many ways, I'm not the same person, but there is something for me to learn from each person, by being their friend, by seeing how they interact with those around them.


Okay, I'm getting down off my soapbox now, but I just wanted to share that, because no matter how closely I hold certain beliefs, I always need to be able to look at them from others' eyes, to question them, and see if they need to change. If they don't, then they are strengthened, and they change in that way. Again, it was such a central theme of my trip that I couldn't leave it out.

Righto, next time- Edmonton!

Back in the land of lakes and hills and trees

It's high time for another update, as I've been told:) I think I'll break it down by location, like I did for Europe- not original, but it works, especially for a scatterbrain like me.

I was surprised to find the north about as warm as where I had just left; so much for my heavy winter jacket that I didn't wear once the whole trip, but who's going to complain about unseasonably warm weather!

The first few days in were a mix of delightful/awkward/refreshing moments, in catching up with old friends and getting to know new ones. I stayed with some previous roommates and friends, and was glad to find that most of the awkwardness I had anticipated in plomping myself back into people's lives for a few days dissipated; either that or I was unaware of it, but I think that, being sensitive to the possibility, I was a bit relieved over the whole thing. I guess I just didn't want my sense of reconnecting with these dear friends to inhibit or hinder them, or to be inconvenient.

I could go on and on about that, the concept that oftentimes, it can be seen as inconvenient for people to visit from out of town, but that I, as the visitor, can alleviate some of that, and some of it I can't control. I would hope that the end result was the good memories we made together, and that the rest would be periphoral.

...As you can see, I tend to obsess on an idea at times and not let it go till I'm done chewing it over...a bit typical, I'm afraid...

Anyhow, it was balm to my soul to walk the streets of the little town where I went to school, shadowed by the grain elevators on one side whose actual height it seems impossible to determine. I even wandered into the local library, because I'm a nerd and I like that library, so that was fun for me, personally:)
Maybe this will be more concise if I tell the story with photos.

This is the northern chapter.

My roommate of two years got married and had a baby, and we got to spend some great moments together. Really, it's great to look back on memories and make new ones at the same time.

The farm photos are from my friend Missy's brother's farm, where I got to help her work on her sculpture. I love this place, and I couldn't resist snapping some shots since I was there. To be kind, I've put just a small photo of us, taking a break from the project:)

At one point, I also had Ashlee as a housemate, and she was so generous to share her apartment with me and let me crash there. With as much interacting as I did, it was so gracious of her to offer me this space to unwind, and we had some great conversations when she was around.

This amazing lady was my discipler through most of my years at school, and catching up with her was so refreshing. I love seeing what people are up to, what they've been thinking of over the past few years, what direction they end up taking at different times in their lives.

In my first year, I lived on the other side of a duplex from Sharon and Shelly; we were all in the same year. In the winter (which was most of the school year), I used to squeeze past the hot water tank in the basement to get to their side so I could visit, and could avoid a trip into the bitter cold to walk around the house:) They are both still in the area, and I have so enjoyed being in touch with them, and it was great to get together for coffee.

In short, that was my trip to the northern regions of Alberta (although I suppose Edmonton is northern, but hardly seems it in comparison!), but there's more to come, I promise!

In the land of prairie and dust

Hello, friends!

I'm posting here in beautiful Alberta. I'm revisiting where I went to school (Bible college) and it's a bittersweet experience so far. I'm relishing the opportunity to reconnect with old friends (or should I say, long-time; they aren't exactly old heheh), but to be wandering around on a campus where every student looks so young, or else I went to school with their older siblings, is a bit surreal, for lack of a better word.

This trip, for me, is what I've decided to call a sabbatical from my own life. A time to draw back from the busyness I've incorporated into every waking day and hour (or most of them), from the person I am every day, in an attempt to truly enjoy each day for what it brings, and to hopefully take the opportunity to pursue some long-forgotten pursuits. Well, one in particular, really; I'm working on a story at the moment, and wondering if that could turn into something...only one way to find out, right!

It's time to stop letting life just happen and slip by, and time to take advantage of each moment, while taking the time to smell the flowers on neighbouring lawns. Believe me, it can be somewhat awkward when those flowers are tiny crocuses, and you are leaning over with a bag on your shoulder, trying not to fall flat on your face while desperately trying to catch a whiff of the scent, since after all that, it's the least you could gather from the encounter:) Sometimes I think, if someone were to follow me around on any given day, they would enjoy seeing me fall over lumps on the sidewalk, or veer around corners in a manner that could only be described as teetering.

I digress.

It's not so much a search for myself as a desire to stop searching for elusive truths, and employ those I've already grasped or am grasping. I'm not entirely sure that even makes sense, but I will keep you posted on this anyway!

Ciao for now, going to meet up with a friend! Thanks for reading:)

p.s. if you are near GP/Edm/Calg and would like to get together, let me know:)