Fröliche Weihnachten!

It's about time I posted, and I won't be able to for several days now.

These past few weeks have been flying by, as they do every December! I am so looking forward to spending some time with my family- two of my little brothers are coming to pick us up for Christmas, which is so great, then the four of us will drive back together.

I'm home two days, then heading to Urbana- I'm so excited/overwhelmed/jittery. I hope to meet up with a good friend - you know who you are :) - and meet some new ones. The bus I'm taking to get there is through another church, and I don't think I know any of those people, so I will get a chance to know them through travelling and through being in the same lodgings.

Certainly I'll have lots to say afterward, but for now, it's a flurry of activity, and trying to focus on the reason for this holiday, amidst the insanity surrounding this time of year. I love love love the German traditions and songs and food and everything that we've built into tradition in our family, and I look forward to partaking in it:)

Tschüss, talk to you in the New Year! Blessings on you this Christmas, and may His peace fill your hearts and homes.

All I can say today

"Toi, Seigneur, mon secours, mon bouclier
Tu es ma gloire et tu relève ma tête."

(JEM 2 #0505 )

A jaunt about downtown

Last weekend, a wonderful friend who was also one of my housemates in first year landed in Toronto, making her big (Ontario) city debut in this our Ontario capital. It was truly delightful to spend time with her, and although a good chunk of our weekend was spent at a conference, we hung out all day Sunday and had a grand time.

Included in our ventures to downtown Toronto - I tell you, the transit system was pretty muddling- were scaling the CN Tower (by means of the elevator, that is), photos in front of the Hockey Hall of Fame, and a visit to the illustrious Royal Ontario Museum to check out the Dead Sea Scrolls special exhibit.

Sharlene and I in the skypod (or one of the levels, anyway)

It's been nearly 4 years since we saw each other, I think, and it was great to reconnect and catch up on all things Albertan/ western. Love ya, Shar!

One day this week I had to check on something outside in the driveway so ran outside quickly only to be struck by this incredible view.

Unfortunately, I couldn't capture it with my cameral lens so you can't get the full view, but this rainbow stretched clean across the sky in a perfect arc. I was awestruck. For a while I just stood there, gazing into the sky while rain spattered into my nose and eyes.

What a poignant reminder of God's faithfulness in the midst of the hard times and the torrents that threaten to sweep us away some days.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about what my blog is trying to say. I have been challenged, in reading other blogs, to find a theme or goal with these ramblings. As of yet, I have not found one, but it's in process.

So I've been thinking quite a bit about what I have been saying all this time. The trouble is, it's the things I'm not saying that keep poking to the surface. Things like how I miss my friends out west from school so much and wish I had made more of an effort to stay a part of their lives, and to keep them in my life. How some days, regret threatens to swallow up whatever else I think I'm accomplishing. How I fear throwing myself really some creative venture because what if there is nothing there, my mind is empty and my hands won't follow through. Oh, and let's not forget that I feel like I have been slogging through and waiting for my life to start when really there's a life to be lived and somewhat it seems like I'm missing the point most of the time.

Life. Isn't that something everyone struggles with, or maybe some of us- that we miss out on our own life in waiting for the pieces to fall into place. We turn into spectators of the unrolling of our own story, without even knowing how it happened.

Sure, by all appearances, I keep myself busy enough, involved with this or that, many good pursuits, some of which will help me answer some of the questions I ask myself about the major decisions. But some days, it all feels like a bit of a joke that I'm not getting.

I'm not totally certain why I have this compulsion to share this with the few readers I've told about this blog. I know I've said that before. Is it the idea or hope that what I have to say matters? Some insatiable need for self-disclosure? That someone does read what I write, so that if I get published one day in some capacity, I'll have that validation? I suppose that is one of those ongoing questions that is more for my own contemplation than for your reading pleasure, but there- I've gone and blurred the lines again.

So thank you for bearing with me as I wrest something out of these questions.

So. How to summarize my life as of late.
Sprained my ankle. Became gainfully employed in a second capacity. Discovered PC brand creme brulee. Engaged in some rather cathartic housecleaning.
Hmm, this is starting to sound something like Bridget Jones' diary. Don't be deceived, however; there is no Mr. Darcy in argyle socks in this story at the moment. Or perhaps I'm mixing up plot lines a little. It doesn't matter.
The thing is, I'm starting to see life as a series of disjointed events and circumstances rather than a progression of meaningful events with some huge cosmic explanation. A little part of me died when I wrote that, or when I realized it, because I am a dreamer at heart. I like to think that there's some hidden meaning to things I don't understand, because that's how I can cope and also keep dreaming. I don't think it's bad to be a dreamer, but one can't live one's whole life on a cloud. After all, a cloud is only made up of water particles, which won't hold up the weight of most people.
Really, what I'm getting out of this, is how dreary this blog is becoming at this rate. Oy. I'd better stir up some excitement to have fascinating things to write about.
Laters.

Slowing down the pace of life

-It's never easy for me. That, and asking for help.

Funny that in this last week, I should have to do both, and through this experience, learn these lessons again (and again, and again)...

Last Tuesday, I sprained my ankle. I've done this before, to the same ankle, but this time it highlighted again how I value my independence, and when this is compromised, my reactions can be quite un-lovely.

I don't want to bore you with the whole story; I sometimes forget only other runners seem to enjoy rehashing one another's injuries, but I'll give you the short version:

Jumped off the porch step with heavy groceries, turned my ankle and dropped to the ground, unable to walk. Wallowed about on the ground for a minute, then two strangers saw me and helped me to my house, even carrying me up my stairs. Ended up going to urgent care after getting a hold of a friend to pick me up. After being around flu-y people for a while and getting x-rays, consulted with my resident doctor friend and decided it wasn't worth staying 4 hours in Emergency for just a minor sprain. Went home.

The thing is, I hated having to call this friend. I would rather have walked there in my extremely slow shuffle than pick up that phone; it was painful. Why is that? I've made it so difficult to ask for help, or accept it when I do have to ask for it. Sure, I enjoy people giving me rides and things like that- but on my terms. There have been times I've nearly taken the bus anyway when people offer me a ride, just because I'm stubborn. Seriously, what is that about.

I effusively thanked my friend for coming with me to the point I started sounding silly. It's still difficult for me to reconcile that this person went out of their way because I called them and because they are kind. Yet, other times, I accept that people make these kind of sacrifices, without giving it a second thought. Why is that?

The second result of this sprain is a loss of independence. Granted, it's a minor one; I can still get around fine so my mobility has returned. It's the other things: I can't go for a run when I want to, or play soccer. Our second game was Saturday and I can't play for awhile yet.

It's not easy to readjust when things go otherwise than planned. If I can't handle this small situation with grace, how do I react when things are actually wrong in my life?

Slowing down and ensuring that my schedule is not too packed for me to actually function properly is never easy for me. I like to have plans, to have an active social life, to involve myself in various activities. Coupling this with a people-pleasing personality can be a disaster at times. This sprain, however minor, is forcing me to reevaluate my priorities. When it takes a little longer to get somewhere, is it necessary to go; that kind of thing. I'm hoping it will encourage me to use better time management as well.

I just wanted to share this, as it's a continual process from which I continue to learn, and, at the risk of sounding narcissistic, I think I needed to be okay to work through this and tell you about it. I hope that comes through somewhat!

*Sigh* Thanks for your patience in bearing with me, another creature in this fantastic journey!

Goin' to the chapel...

Last weekend, three of my friends and I attended the wedding of a couple that we know from church- she is from northern Ontario and he is from New Zealand, and it was a great blend of family and friends that got to share the day with them.

Their reception was held at a local Mediterranean restaurant with great atmosphere, and one of the servers, a student of opera at the university, performed a couple of solos including "O Sole Mio." What a marvelous voice! I was hooked in by that one; I'm such a sucker for a good voice.


My friend Sue and I both have curly hair and had it straightened for the wedding, so we had to get a photo together since it happens so rarely.

What we had for dessert

Our table, with the bride

In between the ceremony and the reception, we hung out at a coffeeshop.

Another curly friend, Megan, and I - people sometimes think we're sisters just because of our hair

I didn't take this one, but it's a neat angle eh?

I will have more news soon- some stuff is pending right now in my life so I don't want to say too much till the details are firmed up.

Just a newsy post this time...more later...happy Hallowe'en!

Another macaron attempt

Island on Lake near Peterborough, ON

Life is settling into its routine now, and fall is merging alarmingly quickly into winter- we had our first snow this morning. (For all my prairie friends, I know, I shouldn't be upset; you've had snow for longer I'm sure!) Now out come the mittens, scarves, and warmer jackets. If I could only find my boots...

With the colder weather, my interest in baking is renewed. I love everything about fall- squash, pumpkins, apples, baking, leaves on the ground, more baking, running etc. Although it's quickly becoming winter and the leaves on the ground are getting all curled and not great for taking pictures at all, I'm still holding out hopes for some warmer weather before the really cold stuff sets in.

On Thanksgiving, I didn't get to visit my family, but on Sunday, my friend's family adopted me almost all day, which was a treat. I know them well enough to be relaxed around them, even at a holiday dinner, which was just what I needed. There was more food than could hope to be eaten in one meal, and the squash was superb; the company even better.

On Monday, it took me most of the morning to work up the nerve to go for a short run, but I eventually headed out that door and down the street on reluctant feet. I'm glad I went, but it's more of a drag to layer up beforehand.

That evening, I set out to attempt yet another batch of macarons (remember, not macaroons!) :) This batch was both better and worse than last time; I may have had some sort of beginner's luck at that point. I narrowed the choices down to chocolate shells with chocolate toffee ganache. Very sweet and tasty. I'm bringing them tonight to a wedding shower and hope they'll be a success, although admittedly they're not so esthetically pleasing as last time.

Such a homely little macaron

Well, I guess that's all I have to say, hopefully I'll scrounge up something a little more noteworthy soon.

Have a great weekend~

An autumn wedding

This past weekend (of the 19th), I attended a friend's wedding. The bride, bridesmaids and I all attended high school together but the bride was a year older- and here we are, still in touch although living in various parts of Ontario.

Courtney, the maid of honour, had to fly from Winnipeg as she works in a provincial park near Kenora, Ontario (way up there!), and fly back a few days later. Sarah and I are both in the London area and Mandy from the Toronto area so it wasn't so bad for the rest of us.

Mandy and Sarah

The wedding was held at a resort outside of Peterborough, located centrally to both the bride's family and the groom's family so it was a good compromise. The lakes out there are beautiful, and although it was already too cold (and weedy) for swimming at that time, just being by the lake for a while in the fall sunshine was balm to my soul! It was great to get out of the city for the weekend...once I finally got there...but that's a story for another time, I won't bore you with it! Let's just say I'm not thrilled with Greyhound lately.

Sarah's boyfriend was up from the States so I finally got to meet him; the others had met him on a previous trip. He seems like a good guy from the little time we were all together.

Zach and Sarah

Me and Mandy - love the flower in her hair!

At the end of this week, my friend Ashlee from school came back to London for a few days (if you remember, she came in the summer too) and stayed with me before her debrief sessions. It was a splendid visit and unfortunately I have no photos:( I totally forgot to take any. She joined in on our first small group of the year, and the next day we went out for dinner at a vegan restaurant- delicious! I thought she was brave to try it out, as I wasn't sure if she'd enjoy it, but she was pretty much vegan for the summer so it worked out. You wouldn't think vegan food could taste so good- I do love my dairy products- but it was my second time there and I've been delighted both times.

I did love spending time with Ashlee and catching up with life at PRBI since she works there now. She's very open about her own journey and so encouraging to be with; I'm sure I benefitted more from our visit than she!

On Saturday, my friend Lisa and I got together with Sandy, a lady from our church, for a meeting over coffee, then Lisa and I went out for brunch as we were ravenous by that point. (Oops, I almost said "ravishing" - that came later heheh.) We spent some time wandering about in some shops, then found a sign for free makeovers in a pretty posh eyewear store. How could we turn that down? It turns out there was no catch even, it was part of a promotion of a line of eyewear so we tried on some frames while we were there. I have to say I loved the makeup; a Swedish line equivalent to M.A.C. but I'm sure it's expensive. That's when we were ravishing as well heheh.

Later that afternoon, we met up with two other friends to shop for dresses for a mutual friend's wedding. We all managed to find ones we all liked; mine at the very last minute of course; although I looked through the same racks several times in one of the stores, the one I found was in those racks and I didn't see it till just at the end when everyone else had found theirs. Apparently I'm incapable of doing anything the easy way, haha!

Well, now that I've sufficiently run off the mouth for the time being- is that the right expression?- I'll take my leave. (Cue collective sigh of relief from readers.) Okay, I'm having too much fun with this, I'd better get going:)

Ciao, and a good day to you all!

Partie 2

(I didn't know how to take the date off the photos which is unfortunate.)

After the race hoopla was over, we all went back to the house and ate a great lunch- we always eat well when we're in Quebec, I must say we're spoiled. That afternoon was a parade for an international military music festival, where different countries' marching bands (or whatever they're actually called) marched down the street playing their military music from their country. I think Jamaica was our favourite- it didn't seem like you could march to a war with that music, you'd want to start dancing in the street:) At the end came Quebec's military division along with their goat- what a smell.

Once that was over, the older kids wandered further into the old city to explore. I hung out with my brother J who is too cool for school- we explored a walk-through portion of the boardwalk that's been excavated for heritage; a castle once stood there. If you're ever there, it's cool to see that piece of history, and it hadn't been dug last time I was there.

I'll let the photos speak for themselves.

This fine specimen is a waffle on a stick

Later on, we got to see a free (!) show of Cirque du Soleil under an overpass, outdoors. Incredible! Those guys are crazy talented. What a show. I'll post a photo later on that.

It's funny to think I ran a half-marathon in the morning, traipsed all over the city in the afternoon, and did a lot more walking and stairs that evening for the cirque show. I think that counts for a couple weeks heheh.

The following day, we spent some time at the cottage, which was so great for me. You've no idea how much I missed that place, almost as much as I missed my grandparents. I loved seeing them again even though it was only for a few days.



That's my trip in a nutshell - Tschuss!

Courir à Québec!

The mighty fleuve St-Laurent

That's what the catchphrase is for my race- I needed to recover before posting I guess:) I haven't got photos yet but I'll hopefully get some soon.

Quebec was beautiful, as always. The weather was bloomingly bright (if unseasonably cold for end of August) except for all of Sunday morning, which happened to be during the whole race.

I'll start at the beginning: on Friday, I travelled by train to Quebec and met up with my family, and spent some time with my grandparents and uncles. I haven't the opportunity to go up with my family for a few years, so it was definitely a treat, and so much different as and adult than a teenager too.

Saturday I went with Ruth to get my race kit and pick up some race swag, which is always fun. I bought Liz a headband. Someone from the Marathon de Paris thought Ruth and I were the same age heheh. Riiiight:)

We didn't do much else that day since it was cold and drizzly and it took us awhile to get going.

Then- Sunday- race day. I set the alarm at Grandmaman and Grandpapa's house, and it shrilly woke Ruth and I and it was terrifying to wake up to at 5 am but did the trick. I wasn't too nervous until partway through the morning when the anxiety set in. I ate breakfast in the half-light of the kitchen, and Dad drove me to catch the ferry.

That's right, I got to take the ferry to the other bank where the race started; I haven't taken that since I was young and my parents would take us across as pedestrians for something to do. I stood shivering in line, letting the French conversations swell and roll over me- it was like music to my ears. If I may say so myself, French people have a particularly fine sense of humour that doesn't take much to prompt, and gets one through all kinds of pickles.

I met another racer my age in my race and we chatted the whole way across, onto the buses, and up to the starting line. It was great to meet someone else at the race who didn't have a clump of people they already knew.

As for the race itself- I won't bore you with the details but I wore a running tank top in the chilly, damp morning but a few kilometres in I was warm. I paced myself with a few different people and didn't end up finding just one to keep up with. My new shoes gave me problems for most of it and I so badly wanted to walk parts of it, as I was in discomfort a good two/thirds of the time. The hills were definitely longer than London hills, and more frequent, but I love me my hills.

For all that, I loved the race. Really, the course was beautiful and the other runners sportsmanlike, calling "Lâchez pas!" if others stopped. I sprinted in with barely any energy to spare, and ended up with a personal best after all that, hills and all. My family met me just after the finish line, and it meant a lot to me to have their support. There was free massage afterward, which was great for my stiff legs, and they even had the option of instant coffee or bouillon with the post-race food:) Ah, the French.

Me and Ruth

I'll save the rest for another post; as it is, I'm sure only the bravest have read this far:)

A tantôt!

Chouette

I haven't got much to say today. The 5 k on Friday went pretty well, considering the heat and the steep hill that made my knees sore for the way back. My friend Tracy organized the whole event and she did a fantastic job. Some friends from work ran it as well and others came to watch, then we hung out afterwards for a while before heading back to the city; the race was by the beach, out of town.

Saturday and Sunday I worked, and Sunday was especially busy. My coworker and I were on our feet the whole time, dashing about madly, then I had a soccer game in 40+ degree heat, with the humidex.

Yesterday evening, Liz and I attended a Downhere concert and Building 429. We both love downhere and have since we first heard their music in high school, but hadn't seen them in concert. I was sure they would be the main act but weren't, so we got there a bit late and missed a couple songs. Liz and I biked there with our friend Renée, which was a nice bike ride.

I had been to the optometrist earlier that evening to have my eyes dilated so my eyes were sore and I was a bit of a grouch (sorry, girls~). The concert was wonderful though, and I appreciated how real the guys were about life, about the struggles we all face, about how that doesn't change who God is or who he is in our lives. It gave me something to mull over in the times I'm not rushing around. I could sure use more of that kind of contemplative time.

Renee convinced me to get a photo with one of the singers of downhere on my cellphone, so I did- I felt like the cheesiest fan ever and also like I was about 10. Oh well, it was still fun to meet them even though I wish I'd had the guts to say hi to one of the other members beside him. I also completely forgot to mention that I went to bible college with the drummer's sister-in-law; that was my whole connection point I was going to bring up. I guess I got nervous like I do when the attention is on me. Great night all the same.

Tonight I'm set to run 20k (ugh), and I'm really hoping it's not too hot out by the time I go, but I have a feeling the humidity will still be pretty high. My race is now in 12 days- just realizing that makes me nervous! I'm going to tackle a big hill my boss told me about, so that should help with the terrain aspect since Quebec is supposed to be quite hilly. I suppose it is; I should know from being there, but never noticed I guess.

Have a great afternoon, everyone.

I wonder as I wander

*disclaimer* I love to write long sentences, and I hope it's not annoying to read; it's a vice I can't quite shake. Could be worse, right?

As you may have noticed, I haven't posted much lately. Mainly, this is because my mind has been lacking of topics of interest to a general audience, I think, but also because I have been reading the blogs of strangers. I can tell you it's been fascinating.

I've added a section of blogs I have been eyeballing recently, and they are diverse but all well-written and with excellent photographs. Some people just ooze talent, I'm telling you. Some are particularly poignant- you should take a look when you have some time.

Being that I love to read but am hesitant to pull out a book at my desk since there are so many interruptions not congruent to a seamless storyline, I've found the happy medium in reading other people's blogs. Today it's http://www.matthewlogelin.com/, a link from http://www.kdsthinkingoutloud.blogspot.com/, one of the blogs of note on blogspot. It's truly heartwrenching but so funny and poignant at the same time- I truly recommend it. What a strange universe, to connect with total strangers in their day-to-day lives without their even knowing about it. I can't quite get used to it.

Anyhow, it's pushed me through an emotional roller-coaster all morning as I read, and one thing it's leaving me with is wanting to take more pictures, and write about the things children do, haha, for some reason. I have none of my own, but was reminded of something my little brother said when he was in kindergarten- we were outside on the front lawn playing some kind of outdoor game, and he pointed up and said something about the "cloudiz." He had a funny period of saying "iz" for all his plurals for a little while there, which I think is hilarious.

Well, since I have no kids I'm forced to write about other people's children which is bordering on just weird at the moment. Oh well, at least they're in my family... (?)

Along those lines, I've noticed as of late that it's not the same anymore to exchange kid stories with people who actually have children. Such as, they say "my kid did this" and I say "oh yeah, my brother did this." People don't really care, for one thing (and I don't blame them), and it's true it's not the same. I have borrowed these scenarios from my siblings for years but now when my peers are having kids themselves, that no longer cuts it. Seems that happened overnight.

Tomorrow I'm running in a 5 km race that my friend has organized. When I heard how many have signed up, all hopes of qualifying in the top 3 for my age group evaporated, but I'm hoping to enjoy it. Then in 17 days it's my race in Quebec! I am getting pumped but nervous too. I've been wanting to do this race for a while, but I only wish Liz could participate with me. I wish she could be there with the rest of the family but she'll be off to some pretty crazy adventures I'm sure:)

So, in honour of Liz, here's a photo from last year since I don't have new ones at the moment.

Wedding hoop-la

On Saturday, my good friend Nada got married! I've been consulting with her to give advice whenever she liked so it was so great to be a part of the wedding as a guest as well! I wish you could have seen it, the wedding reception was gorgeous and the dancing was great. I don't know how to do Arabic dancing but I enjoyed watching.

Last week, some girls from work had a bachelorette dinner for her, which was a lot of fun. Risqué, but fun:)





Oops, I didn't post one of Nada from the dinner, I'll have to add one!

Holly, me, and Nada- the three of us are close work friends (is that contradictory?) :)

Liz and I

Me and Holly

more work friends- we all sat together

*Sigh* it's so weird to think that now she is married. Her husband is great and I'm so happy for them- wait- I didn't get his picture on here either, haha- it was late last night when I was transferring them. Still, it will be different now. Holly and I are going to celebrate with Nada for her birthday after her honeymoon. It's pretty lonely where I sit at work without her but I'm sure she's having a blast, travelling about.

I'll get those missing photos up soon!

Ciao!

Flowers, on the verge of a storm

On Saturday, on the way home from work, I noticed these flowers along the side of a house and I couldn't resist coming back to snap some photos. I made it just before the rain came down! Only after did I discover my little camera can take manual focus photos! Oh well, I'm happy with how they turned out anyways, since I was just experimenting.

My favourite

Thanks to the Duecks and the Shumans for inspiring me with your flower photos- not sure if you read my blog since I don't actually know you (odd, I know), but thanks all the same:)

More to come...wedding stuff!