Hope

Right now, at this moment, I'm filled with hope. It's inexplicable, as far as I can see. I'm short on sleep, nothing especially exciting is going on at work, and I'm at a loss of what to do in many areas of my life. And yet, right now, I can't help but be hopeful.

Hope that people can change, that their lives will be transformed by Jesus. Hope for the broken, the depressed, the lost and the adrift. Hope that life is not in vain, and that ultimately, it's good that wins. Hope that whatever is my purpose on this here earth, someone will be better off for it.

This hope- it's mixed with anticipation. Like the feeling of waiting for a letter in the mail from someone you love and that you know loves you. Like the assurance that your friends will be there for you no matter what. Like the awakening that is spring after a chilling winter.

Why is it that waiting is so often discouraging rather than exciting? When longing crosses over into that state where you think you just can't go on unless certain things come into place? I wish it were more often an attitude of hopefulness. I guess that's why it's a choice, like love- the feeling itself is fleeting. Aye, there's the rub, isn't it...

Life is a struggle, isn't it? A struggle against the easy route, to choose what you know is the best even if you're so tired you don't think you can choose it every time. A fight to find the balance between being in control and giving up control. Some days I feel like a small child, others like an old person.

It's funny how we're constantly learning about ourselves. I hear, from people much older than me, that this never stops. For instance, I am learning that some people can go through life without having to dig too deeply through the upper crust; they cope without getting too twisted up in the big questions or the what-ifs. On my part, I don't do well to stuff down my inquisitive side. I need to ask those questions, even when it hurts, and even though I don't know why I'm needing to ask them, half the time. It's not even that I get answers necessarily. It's the asking that's important for some reason. Hmm. No wonder I drove my parents batty as a child!

Phew, self-examination/self-awareness is tiring! A la prochaine, mes amis!

Oh Monday

Hello everyone! Whoever reads this these days!

I don't actually have too much to say, but that hasn't stopped me yet, haha!

It doesn't really feel like I had much of a weekend, since I've been working 7 days in a row the last two weeks, and still this one coming up- yikes! Oh well, I still enjoy my "fun" job most times. Sometimes I feel a little incompetent and klutzy but I still get 'er done, usually without too much mishap. Yesterday I knocked a teacup right off an empty table with my elbow, and it fell to the floor, but wasn't even cracked or anything. Phew! I'm still getting the hang of carrying more than one plate in one hand, as my hands aren't that large, but when I'm able, it's a pretty sweet skill! It's not like I have numchuk or bow hunting or computer hacking skills, but I'd say it's a close second, hehe.

On Saturday I went for a run after work, since I haven't been too active lately and I'm going to the beach (fingers crossed) on Friday. Me and two girls from work booked the day off, I can't wait. I'm sure one run isn't going to make me look better in a bathing suit, but one can hope! Anyway, somehow I pulled an ab muscle - I don't know how - and didn't help by being stubborn to push through it...I had a stitch and was determined to run through it but I felt like my lungs were seizing, so, probably a bad idea.

On Sunday in my soccer game, I got an elbow to the nose which really hurt, but it didn't bleed, which was good. I was on the field the whole last half because we had to move some forwards to mid and I was about to collapse. After that I did some situps while listening to "Jai Ho" (the one with the Pussycat Dolls) and kept doing a few in the commercial breaks of Heartland. I really like that show for some reason. I don't usually love the Pussycat Dolls but I like this song. Did anyone else love Slumdog Millionnaire? What a movie, eh?

This week, I'm babysitting for my Belgian family for the last time; they're leaving in a few days
:( I'm so sad, I love those kids. I've gotten so attached again. Oh well, it has been great to get to know them a bit.

This weekend, I only did a few things I had planned. I was thinking of going to a housewarming party but didn't go, and I wanted to drop in at a show my friend's band was putting on, but I was hanging out with my friend Grace and didn't end up making it. Hopefully I'll have the chance to go to other shows, and I'm sure I will see these people around other London events. I guess that's how it goes- you can't do everything you plan for. (In my case, it's good to remember that!) Do you ever feel like there's not enough time in the day to fit in what you enjoy? It's funny how easy it is to let slide what would really invigorate us for the less pleasant tasks sometimes.

Well, those are my thoughts for the moment. Have a good one!

Un poème

Awhile ago, I mentioned I had been puttering around with some writing- a short story here, a poem there. Usually I'm extremely reticent to share any of these works because I just haven't written or shared much that I'm comfortable with- most are works in progress still.

However, today, hyped up on a Grande Americano Misto with White Mocha, I've decided to be brash and post my French poem. I figure this is safe because I can' hear the laughter this way... just kidding!

Envahi
De sentiments d’incertitude
Que faire de ça
Quand tout le monde s’en va?

Et quand la mer est grise et verte et bleue
Cachant de tel secrets dans sa profondeur
Le ciel, de ses nuages légers, paraît toucher la mer
L’horizon est étiré, si loin, impossible de s’y rendre

La lumière du soleil, si lisse et chaleureuse
Vient recouvrir le visage un instant
Pénétrant nos âmes de sa douceur
Et fondre, peu à peu, nos soucis secrets

Voilà, nous pouvons nous reposer
S’étendre sur la plage rocheuse
Nos os fortifié, voilà la paix
Enfin


Well, that's that! I hope you like it.
Have a great day!

After a photo hiatus...

I have really enjoyed taking a look at other people's blogs lately, and not so much paying attention to mine:) Now that I finally have a few photos, though, I'm much more prone to post.

Liz's birthday was two days ago, and we went to a quaint spaghetti house filled with random things like old bicycles, photos of Charlie Chaplin, and old tins and things. The menus were old record covers which was a fun touch. The poor girl has 5 night shifts in a row with a daytime shift at her other job somewhere in there, so it's going to be a rough few days, but at least she got her birthday off as a friend offered to switch with her. I got her a cupholder for coffee which goes on her bicycle...yup, she's a quirky one, that girl! Happy Birthday, Liz :)

The big 2-4

Liz and I

I was bored the other day and wanting to take photos of something- anything! :) - and the weather conditions were less than ideal, so I contented myself with self-portraits. Don't hate:P

In other news, Liz and I ran a 5k in Toronto on Sunday, a new all-women race, and both did quite well with respectable times. I was still coming off an injury and hadn't run much in a few months, and Liz had come down with a cold, but that doesn't stop her. I came 3rd in my age group (which, for the record, never happens) and Liz was first in hers. She was 5th to cross the finish line and I was 11th, and for not competing in a 5k since high school, I consider that a good day's work:) Liz was disappointed in herself but I'm happy for both of us. Here's to next year, same time, same place!

Isn't it remarkable the different creative outlets that people find for themselves? I am always pleasantly surprised when I stumble across other people's art or expressions. Through a link of a link on my friend's blog, I have discovered a blog which is mainly artwork from someone who is, in my mind, a brilliant artist. He draws buildings and scenes that he sees, and puts them on his blog, or photos he's taken. It's like drawing in a huge breath of clean, flower-hued air for me to glimpse snatches of people's art, especially when I'm at work, in an office pretty much devoid of shapes and colour to catch the eye :)

Anyway, I don't know that blogger but following the thread of artwork he posts has inspired me to dabble in my own once again. This mostly consists of doodling on partially printed-on paper at my desk at work, but I'm saving up for a proper sketchbook. I have a couple that are mostly used up but I can't be inspired if I'm looking at those old, lousy scribbles. It sounds wasteful, and I will use up the remaining pages, but for now I need a new, tidy sketchbook, to give me that little push. That being said, I have unused canvas boards at home that I've yet to touch... so I suppose it's somewhat of a double standard, but that's the plan.

The urge to draw always brings me to the urge to write, and I'm contemplating saving up for a laptop so I can type my stories/poems. Now, just the thought of making this concrete step towards some form of publication grips me with something akin to terror and cold sweats. How will I know if I could ever write a book if I don't actually commit some time to the effort? Besides, it's so much slower to write by hand. However, I figure since I will need to save up, it won't be an impulse buy. The other thing, though, is that I swore I'd only buy a laptop or computer when I go back to school, and the whole career/school debate is completely up in the air right now. I may be throwing out the baby with the bathwater but it's still at the idea stage.

It's funny how not running makes me need to do other things; if I'm not pouring myself onto the road, I'd better whip up a drawing or bake some concoction or find some other release. My uncle, who is a great businessman, also has a talent for the most detailed creations out of macramé that you can imagine. I find this co-existence delightful, especially since I'm so one-sided in my interests.

Well, here I am, rambling again. If any of you have managed to get this far, congrats! And thanks for reading!

Ciao for now, meine freunde!

My wish was granted

Well! On Saturday night, the torrential rains began. I was in Blockbuster, scoping out the movie selections, and stepped out to find I was in a flood. I waded across the river flowing across our busy intersection in my flip flops and got home drenched, fearing the whole time I would be struck by lightning as the storm was directly overhead. It was amazing! Mind you, I was praying for my life on the walk/wade hom and also that my friend Jenny would get home safe:) (She did.)

Now that you've got the weather report, on to other things...

Last week I had a phone date with my friend Ash from school- it was so great to reconnect. It's always tricky with the time difference, although I should know it by now from work. I find it exciting to see what my friends are doing with their time or with their year, what they're thinking of and how they use their gifts or skills, you know? Really, it's inspiring. I hope to see her when she comes out this way in the summer.

I've just noticed this is my 50th post, yay! Fifty entries of my ramblings, oh goodie. Thanks for reading, everyone:)

On Saturday, I got to call my friend/former roommate Nicole in the hospital- I was in her wedding a couple of years ago and she had her little guy early so they've been in Edmonton for a few months till he can go home. It was so great to catch up with her as well- we lived together 2 years in school, plus we both stayed at the school in the summers and we got quite close. I wish I could hop on a plane and meet little Timothy. It's hard for her right now, as her husband is back home working and she's five hours away with the baby. They're hoping to move him to the local hospital soon, which is definitely an answer to a lot of people's prayers!

The other day I ended up talking to an old friend I met about 10 years ago- how time flies- at camp. He's in the UK, and it was a surprise that we were both online because of the time difference. It was truly refreshing to catch up with him as well and I hope to meet up with him next time he's in Canada.

On that note, I don't have much else to say, but I'm thankful for opportunities to reconnect, and it warms my heart every time, as corny as that may sound.

This weekend I'm working at the cafe, and celebrating my friend Sarah's new job, and meeting up with a work friend. Somewhere in that time I hope to organize/paint/decorate- my crafty side needs an outlet methinks:)

How about you- any plans for the long weekend???

I wish you all a relaxing and enjoyable weekend, enjoy that sunshine!

Hoping for a thunderstorm

Hum de dum, it's Friday. I'm glad for the weekend! I hope to be able to take some time to just relax, and get things done I've been putting off, like, oh, figuring out what to do for the rest of my life, haha!

Yesterday, I spent part of the day doodling in Paint, because I have no photos to post and felt like drawing something. I was going for artsy but it's totally non-original...oh well...maybe I'll post it anyway.

Yes, yes, I am a nerd.

I'm not working this weekend after all since it will be rainy weather and the patio won't be open; I was kind of looking forward to it:(

I'm having lunch with my friend Sarah tomorrow, which will be nice- I haven't seen her in a few weeks and we have to celebrate her new job!

My former roomie Jenny is visiting this weekend so she and my sister can plan their trip this summer.

I've decided to scale back on some of my involvement with different activities next year- I'm involved in 2 different churches (bible studies and young adults), besides ESL, and now a part-time job- I can hardly think how this all accumulated, but I often take on too much and then my relationships suffer, and I take out my stress on the people around me- it's just not pretty, and not worth it. It's gotten to the point where I barely spend time with friends, and the time I do have, I sometimes waste, so it's not really accomplishing anything anyways, to be so busy.

This has been a long time coming, but it will be a difficult decision as to what to let go, I know it. However, I'm looking forward to some more time, and to being more organized (here's hoping)! As long as I don't just jump into new endeavours...that's the temptation.

Well, I'v rambled long enough...not much else to say for today! Here's hoping I can play soccer this week- I twisted my knee last week in our first game so we'll see!

Have a great weekend, everyone! Happy Mother's Day to any of you moms reading this! :D

I'm back!

Hi everyone, sorry for the delay between posts! It's been a crazy couple of weeks.

To update you on the CN Tower Climb - Chant:) - my team climbed the CN Tower on April 16th as part of the corporate climb. (The personal one was two days later.) It was cool to be part of the team that sponsored the climb; Canada Life sponsors the corporate climb and we're with Canada Life as well. Our team name was the "Canada Life Stair Killaz."

We took a bus from our downtown office with the other Canada Life teams. We were the first team ever from the client center so that was a plus. Before the climb, we got to go to the top of the Canada Life building in Toronto, at the top of which is a weather beacon many people used to predict daily weather forecasts.

I don't have any photos myself, but if you'd like to view some, there's a short slideshow one of the team members put together on flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/29391964@N04/sets/72157606617129505/show/

Now I can say I climbed the CN Tower in 17 min 16 sec! Woo hoo! Next year, under 15:)

That weekend, my brother Mathieu took the train from Ottawa to visit us, and we had a chill weekend together. It was great to hang out with him more one-on-one, which we don't get much of on holidays, at my house:)

Then, on Tuesday, Liz and I flew to Florida to visit my aunt and uncle at their place they have there. Naomi (our younger sister) flew from Ottawa and we all met up before driving to their place, right near Daytona Beach. They had invited us to come while they were there, and they spoiled us the whole time with great (and healthy!) food, awesome conversations, and with all kinds of activities. They live right close to the beach, and have a community pool across the road, and tennis and shuffleboard. I have acquired a taste for shuffleboard and hope to revolutionize it in London as a sport for the young, not just the retired:) You should try it, really!

*Note*: I have only a few photos from the trip, but hope to post more when I get some from my sister.

Nancy and Liz showing off their moves at shuffleboard

First day, just arrived- I look so silly, small at the end of the couch, haha-really we're all close in size


Mmm, a delicious Korean dinner


I had gotten a haircut and they straightened it too- clearly didn't stay straight very long!

Well, that's all she wrote ... for now! I'll post more photos later. Thanks for reading!