Slowing down the pace of life

-It's never easy for me. That, and asking for help.

Funny that in this last week, I should have to do both, and through this experience, learn these lessons again (and again, and again)...

Last Tuesday, I sprained my ankle. I've done this before, to the same ankle, but this time it highlighted again how I value my independence, and when this is compromised, my reactions can be quite un-lovely.

I don't want to bore you with the whole story; I sometimes forget only other runners seem to enjoy rehashing one another's injuries, but I'll give you the short version:

Jumped off the porch step with heavy groceries, turned my ankle and dropped to the ground, unable to walk. Wallowed about on the ground for a minute, then two strangers saw me and helped me to my house, even carrying me up my stairs. Ended up going to urgent care after getting a hold of a friend to pick me up. After being around flu-y people for a while and getting x-rays, consulted with my resident doctor friend and decided it wasn't worth staying 4 hours in Emergency for just a minor sprain. Went home.

The thing is, I hated having to call this friend. I would rather have walked there in my extremely slow shuffle than pick up that phone; it was painful. Why is that? I've made it so difficult to ask for help, or accept it when I do have to ask for it. Sure, I enjoy people giving me rides and things like that- but on my terms. There have been times I've nearly taken the bus anyway when people offer me a ride, just because I'm stubborn. Seriously, what is that about.

I effusively thanked my friend for coming with me to the point I started sounding silly. It's still difficult for me to reconcile that this person went out of their way because I called them and because they are kind. Yet, other times, I accept that people make these kind of sacrifices, without giving it a second thought. Why is that?

The second result of this sprain is a loss of independence. Granted, it's a minor one; I can still get around fine so my mobility has returned. It's the other things: I can't go for a run when I want to, or play soccer. Our second game was Saturday and I can't play for awhile yet.

It's not easy to readjust when things go otherwise than planned. If I can't handle this small situation with grace, how do I react when things are actually wrong in my life?

Slowing down and ensuring that my schedule is not too packed for me to actually function properly is never easy for me. I like to have plans, to have an active social life, to involve myself in various activities. Coupling this with a people-pleasing personality can be a disaster at times. This sprain, however minor, is forcing me to reevaluate my priorities. When it takes a little longer to get somewhere, is it necessary to go; that kind of thing. I'm hoping it will encourage me to use better time management as well.

I just wanted to share this, as it's a continual process from which I continue to learn, and, at the risk of sounding narcissistic, I think I needed to be okay to work through this and tell you about it. I hope that comes through somewhat!

*Sigh* Thanks for your patience in bearing with me, another creature in this fantastic journey!