I can't get enough of fall flavours ~

Last night, I found some chai I bought with my friend Jenny in Dundas last year, so I had a large cup of it. Then another. And it's even tastier than I remembered. I couldn't stop smelling the tea in the little bag - what is it about chai that smells like Christmas? Yet somehow it smacks of fall- curling up under a woollen blanket with some tea, a good read, and maybe something sweet to nibble on.

Reading this lovely lady's blog makes me want to write about crafty stuff, or food, or beautiful things. I just like how she writes. I haven't dabbled much in any sort of handiwork recently but hope to start soon. Really, I guess I'm trying to say I may post a lot in the next while because I love fall. And fall makes me want to bake. And read. And write poetry (heheh). And sometimes cry a little, just because.

Right now, at work, I'm indulging in a little decadence. Each morning I heat up some milk on the stove, hurriedly make some coffee in my French press (with espresso too, the last few days), and throw a dash of hazelnut syrup in my thermos. Yes, I haul around too much stuff in my backpack to and from work, but the thermos is a necessity. That's my cheater version of a latte - much cheaper than buying every day, I assure you!

To go with this, I've got a pumpkin chocolate chip muffin from the batch I made for book club on Sunday. They're super easy to make, and a lot of fun, and baking for me isn't complete without a smidgen of wine as I go and some singing. (My apologies to my roommate, heheh.) Yep, it's a tough life, hazelnut café au lait (that's more what it is) and a pumpkin muffin, wrapping up the quintessential spices of autumn. I'm going to need to get another job if I want to keep up all this baking and whatnot ;)

I'll leave you with a photo from my marathon post. It's a little early - the leaves certainly aren't this colour yet, and I'm upset because a ton of maples in my city seem to be succumbing to a horrible disease, so here's a leaf I spied on the sidewalk a few years ago. Just a little teaser until we really get the fall colours:) I'll be sure to snap some photos at that time.

A Monday post

I'm really doubting the wisdom of writing anything on a Monday. Normally I don't like my behaviour to be confined by a day of the week, like "so what if it's Monday, I don't have to be grumpy, I'll act how I please," but today it has hit me with full force.

Last night was a bit later than I would have liked but it was a good evening. After procrastinating and not getting a lick of homework done (oops!)...this right after I made my brother not visit me till he had done his...what a good sister, right...I whipped up some pumpkin chocolate chip muffins for book club then headed downtown with my friend Sarah B. We joined some other friends for a free outdoor show as part of Car-Free Festival, Olenka & the Autumn Lovers. I've seen them perform several times and it's always delightful; this time was no exception.

There was one funny incident while we were standing there watching - this one guy off to the side kept staring at me and offering to throw out my coffee cup, he was cracked out I guess you could say (I'm sure that's not PC but I'm not sure how else to say it) and my friend Rebecca whispered to me, "I didn't realize you were meeting your boyfriend down here," and I replied, "I didn't know either." It was pretty amusing.

After that, we headed to the one girl's house for book club, where there were plenty of snacks - fresh pesto on baguette!- laughter, conversation and wine, not to mention good company. It was a good evening- how could it not be? :)

Afterwards, my roommate biked next to me and our friend who were walking. By the time we got home it was pretty late and I had to wait up for my brother to text me to say he made it home after his concert that he went to. I passed out just after midnight with my phone next to me and he made it home okay (oops!) but I was pretty exhausted.

After a windy ride to work (you lie, Environment Canada, that was far windier than 13 km/hr), I got here with windburned eyeballs and had to change lickety-split with two minutes to spare, only to realize I was supposed to come in an hour earlier today. Yup. It's one of those days.

Tonight I hopefully get to talk on Skype (my first time! heheh) with my friend Megan who's in Calgary. I haven't spoken with her since the end of August so that will be good to catch up. Tomorrow I have a staff meeting for the French project staff with the daycare after my regular work day, so it will be long, but oh well. This month is getting crazy already...although I suppose if I didn't insist on cramming so much into my social calendar, it would be a little less hectic...However, as excited as I am to be a student again, I'm determined not to let homework rule my life. We'll see how that plays out ;)

Well, that's about all I have to say for now. Hopefully I can come up with something a little more engaging next time.

Adios!

J'ai trouvée la paix profonde...

Philippians 4:6-7
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."



This verse just came to mind and it's pretty timely. This morning, I feel like I have a lot to worry about- not that I'm overly anxious about where I'm at, it's just I'm overtired and things seem like more of a big deal. That and the fact that I'm prone to worrying over something in an attempt to solve it, which isn't the most helpful tactic, I've found. It doesn't stop at "don't worry," it keeps going about peace! Aaah! :)

It doesn't help that I haven't been sleeping well. Maybe I'm more apprehensive about school than I thought. I'm sure it will pass. Because really- it's my first week of school and I'm excited! :) Wheee! Now I just have to prioritize and organize and actually plan my time if I want to get good marks.

Looking back, a year ago was so different for me. I didn't really know what to do for a career path, my sister was moving and there was a lot of difficulty surrounding that for me, and I was more or less listless, I guess you could say. Maybe that's just looking back, in hindsight, but after a few years of having little clue what to do in life or what school to do to get there, it was kind of discouraging.

Now, one year later, I'm going back to school (for real this time), I'm part of a pretty amazing community here, and I've gained a lot of clarity in friendships and such. It's such a blessing. Yes, this last year has been fraught with a lot of ups and downs, and I just wanted to give up a lot of times, but it seems worth it now. I can look forward, fueled by first-day jitters and some pretty great folk, and keep learning how to give in community after doing so much receiving recently.

Thanks to you, too, my blogger friends, for checking in, for being there across the miles. I pray that this year will be enriching for you as well.

Don't be afraid to look at where you've come from - you can learn so much about where you're going.

(That was a little bit corny, I just made it up on the spot. But I'm gonna keep it there anyway.) ;)

Have a fantastic day!

What is it about prayer lately?

Last night at the home church I've been attending, the topic was on prayer. It's no coincidence that everywhere I turn, prayer seems to be a focus- at my other church they're doing a prayer night, I've been praying for some friends who just found out they're expecting after a long time of not expecting, that sort of thing.

Yesterday, I didn't participate much but decided mostly to listen. Prayer doesn't come easily to me and although I would say I am living more prayerfully in some ways, in others I just don't take the time to praise, or just to listen.

A song came to mind that I first heard of from a friend (thanks, Chrystal) and I found it on my music player for my bike ride to work- What Do I Know of Holy by Addison Road. If you haven't heard this song, it's worth looking up, because for me, anyways, it expresses some of what I keep coming back to and don't always have the words to express.

On another note, I had a really tough commute into work this morning due to biking straight into the wind pretty well the whole way. My quads were burning and I was barely moving, and, to make matters worse, a block before work, I had a very near collision with a car that was turning left. Newsflash: as a cyclist it's practically impossible to stop on a dime on wet pavement. Kindly try not to kill me over it. You'll get to where you're going soon enough and probably won't notice the two second delay to your drive, it probably won't ruin your day to drive defensively and it would sure make mine better too. It was a close call and I think my eyeballs were wide open the whole rest of the way down the hill and my heart was going crazy fast. Not my idea of a fun time.

I guess I was thinking of that in relation to prayer- how it can feel like pedaling into the wind and not really getting anywhere, or how close calls can really make you appreciate what you have, once your heartbeat returns to the semi-normal range, heheh. It's funny how something like biking to work turns my mind more to talking to God more often than usual. That can only be a good thing, right?

Now maybe I should work on my cyclist road-rage...

I'm baaack in the blogosphere!

Okay, I wasn't gone that long, I know:) I just felt like making a scene there.

I've been pondering what sort of meaningful words to write, since I usually ramble quite a lot, but a reasonable stream of thought seems to be escaping me still. My theory is that I've been living more fully the last while and that, for some reason, makes it more difficult to just write, particularly when it comes to my manuscript (if I can even call it that, I keep chopping it up abysmally). Does that make any sense? I hope it won't last too long, but there you have it.

In the last year or two, I wrote a lot- poetry, journalling, whatever- because I really needed that outlet and way of expressing myself, even if no one would ever see it. To be honest, the last year and a half or so have been somewhat miserable, and I can't trace this to one particular thing except for the throes of growing up, I suppose. Figuring myself out and all that. Learning to stand up for myself in the workplace, understanding what's important to me and why. As I write that, I feel like I'm still fifteen and I don't particularly care to go back there, but that feeling of continually growing into something and striving in life hangs over me from time to time.

In other ways, it's been a reevaluating of relationships- family and friends. With this, I've experienced some loss- friends and family moving away or simply being less present in my life and I in theirs. Not a fan of change particularly, I grappled with this and had to come to terms with the inevitability of these sort of events. I mean, it's going to keep happening, and wallowing about it solves nothing. Plus I don't like to let myself wallow for very long.

So. This wasn't meant to be one of those self-reflecting *yawn* posts. It's just that the last few weeks and even months have caused me to reevaluate, and appreciate more greatly the wonderful people that are in my life. Visiting home and seeing some really dear friends has done wonders for my spirit, although family time is never too quiet:) Recent events have been showing me that I am so blessed and wouldn't wish my life to be anything other than what it is, right now. How often can I say that in all honesty? Sure, I'm generally an optimist, but as finite humans don't we always want other circumstances and realities?

It's a sudden surprise to find myself truly happy. My heart is full, and I can't stop thanking God for the story He's writing and weaving me into. Yes, there's pain in life and I'm never great at confronting it, but in this season I am so thankful, and I wanted to say that in this blog. Like anything, I think that in some questions being addressed, more questions are raised, but that doesn't seem so threatening right now for some reason. Mind you, I haven't started courses yet this year (harhar), so maybe check in later! Really, though, I think the hard lessons I've been learning certainly have been deepening my faith, somehow, and equipping me for what I was to experience, although little did I suspect. I do hear of that happening but, as of late, couldn't really trace it in my own life. Until now.


Joy. It's not something I intend to take for granted.