Okay, I know I just posted, but do you ever have those times when you are working through something and there don't seem to be any clear answers or validation? And then you remember, oh, right, maybe I could pray about this instead of fretting over it...so you do, and it doesn't solve the problem but you have the sense that this small thing could go a long way in your day because you took a second to have a right approach?
I don't know if that makes any sense, but it's indicative of my day. And you know how sometimes you need to have a certain focus before a thing makes sense?
It's funny...or maybe it isn't...how my worrying accomplished pretty much nothing, and now that I resigned myself to trust in this one area, the words of a friend or a situation at work actually confirm that trust. Hmm. Why do I think that God is so small?
It's staggering how big God is. I know that sounds simplistic, but I guess I need things to be broken down simply sometimes. I'm okay with that. It's quite a thought.
Wishing you a lovely day!~
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Oops, I've been slacking...what can I say, homework happens!
Sorry for the long delay. I've been a lot busier than anticipated and I'm still ferreting out various plans for the new year. (I'm not sure that word works in the sentence, I just really wanted to use 'ferreting.') ;)
I'm so glad to have made it through mid-terms. With some very well-timed encouragement, no less. :) Granted, I only had two, but one of them stressed me out to no end, and I went to bed late for several nights. Even though I haven't gotten my marks back, I'm trying to focus on doing my best and not beating myself up about it if I don't understand something.
I think that's been the trickiest part of going back to school. In high school, I gravitated towards subjects that I understood and thought I could do well in, even though I made myself take math all the way through to OAC and took courses like chemistry even though my parents tried to encourage me in other disciplines. (It's possible they realized I wouldn't thrive in that course the way my brother had.) ;) Even though my group of friends was seriously smart at every subject (I mean, come on, chemistry and English and French...oh, and Art too??), I was decidedly more one-sided. All to say that it was good for me to take maths and sciences, but that I'd sort of forgotten what it was like to really be out of my depths. And I do not care for that feeling.
This psych course has the tendency to do me in from time to time, as I'm sure my friends can attest to, since I've been going on ad nauseum about it. (Sorry! :{ ) It's not so much the discipline- I took Psych 101 and found it fairly interesting- but this particular course gives me no small difficulty in simply grasping the concepts. It's a bit of a wake-up call for me: first, because I'm not magically going to be good at every course and that's okay; and second, because I maybe need to grow up and make an effort even if something doesn't interest me. Admittedly, I don't have the best work ethic when it comes to assignments, so I need to be more disciplined and plan my time better. These sorts of hurdles are conveniently forgotten when one finishes school and doesn't go back for over four years...
Okay, if you haven't fallen asleep out of sheer boredom by now, thanks for persisting. ;)
Something else that has been woven through the last few weeks are encounters with some pretty great people. The people in my church-sort-of-group are truly terrific and they teach me so much about building into each other's lives. I was housesitting for a week or so in a house that was on the market so there were showings from time to time, at which point I'd go spend time at another family's house. I got to know their kids better, and the parents are around my age; it was great to just hang out and get to know each other better. I hope to drop by more often and help them out.
Another time, I visited another friend (who also has kids - I guess I'm in that demographic now, yikes! ;) ) and she asked me all kinds of questions about being from a large family which a few years ago I would have balked at, but now, to my own surprise, could discuss at length without rancour or too much awkwardness. It's funny how time and distance will do that...and yet it's that same distance that I kind of regret, being far from my parents and not seeing my brothers when they're growing up so quickly. It's just one of those ongoing sort of things where I try to visit a few times a year at least and keep in touch.
Anyways, that's all to say that I'm more and more struck with the fact that at the end of the day, it's people that matter. To quote from The Rag Coat by Lauren Mills, "People only need people, and nothing else. Don't you forget it." Well, I think that we are this way because of an inherent need for community fabricated into us by God, but it's been resonating with me, this concept. Whatever happens in life, however things turn out with school or work or any type of relationship- if I'm not connected with others and if we're not part of each other's lives in ways that matter, what are we really left with?
It's the people that matter.
Now, if I can only go about the 'quotidien' with that priority...
I'm so glad to have made it through mid-terms. With some very well-timed encouragement, no less. :) Granted, I only had two, but one of them stressed me out to no end, and I went to bed late for several nights. Even though I haven't gotten my marks back, I'm trying to focus on doing my best and not beating myself up about it if I don't understand something.
I think that's been the trickiest part of going back to school. In high school, I gravitated towards subjects that I understood and thought I could do well in, even though I made myself take math all the way through to OAC and took courses like chemistry even though my parents tried to encourage me in other disciplines. (It's possible they realized I wouldn't thrive in that course the way my brother had.) ;) Even though my group of friends was seriously smart at every subject (I mean, come on, chemistry and English and French...oh, and Art too??), I was decidedly more one-sided. All to say that it was good for me to take maths and sciences, but that I'd sort of forgotten what it was like to really be out of my depths. And I do not care for that feeling.
This psych course has the tendency to do me in from time to time, as I'm sure my friends can attest to, since I've been going on ad nauseum about it. (Sorry! :{ ) It's not so much the discipline- I took Psych 101 and found it fairly interesting- but this particular course gives me no small difficulty in simply grasping the concepts. It's a bit of a wake-up call for me: first, because I'm not magically going to be good at every course and that's okay; and second, because I maybe need to grow up and make an effort even if something doesn't interest me. Admittedly, I don't have the best work ethic when it comes to assignments, so I need to be more disciplined and plan my time better. These sorts of hurdles are conveniently forgotten when one finishes school and doesn't go back for over four years...
Okay, if you haven't fallen asleep out of sheer boredom by now, thanks for persisting. ;)
Something else that has been woven through the last few weeks are encounters with some pretty great people. The people in my church-sort-of-group are truly terrific and they teach me so much about building into each other's lives. I was housesitting for a week or so in a house that was on the market so there were showings from time to time, at which point I'd go spend time at another family's house. I got to know their kids better, and the parents are around my age; it was great to just hang out and get to know each other better. I hope to drop by more often and help them out.
Another time, I visited another friend (who also has kids - I guess I'm in that demographic now, yikes! ;) ) and she asked me all kinds of questions about being from a large family which a few years ago I would have balked at, but now, to my own surprise, could discuss at length without rancour or too much awkwardness. It's funny how time and distance will do that...and yet it's that same distance that I kind of regret, being far from my parents and not seeing my brothers when they're growing up so quickly. It's just one of those ongoing sort of things where I try to visit a few times a year at least and keep in touch.
Anyways, that's all to say that I'm more and more struck with the fact that at the end of the day, it's people that matter. To quote from The Rag Coat by Lauren Mills, "People only need people, and nothing else. Don't you forget it." Well, I think that we are this way because of an inherent need for community fabricated into us by God, but it's been resonating with me, this concept. Whatever happens in life, however things turn out with school or work or any type of relationship- if I'm not connected with others and if we're not part of each other's lives in ways that matter, what are we really left with?
It's the people that matter.
Now, if I can only go about the 'quotidien' with that priority...
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Que sera sera....???
Life can be pretty turbulent, can't it? Just when I think I have things figured out, just a few things even, something changes or tips or leans way over, and I have to take stock and figure out what it all means.
I just don't enjoy curve balls.
This isn't meant to sound all dramatic or anything, it's just that it shouldn't be a surprise to me at this point, how changeable life is. Really, that's one constant we can be sure of, right? That living involves a lot of change, voluntary or not?
Basically, I'm now faced with some work/school choices again that I'm not sure I'm ready for. I was kind of heading in this direction but now I'm getting a pretty significant push that way, and it's out of my control. What this means is that I've been advised my current work situation is not sustainable and that I have some decisions to make for the new year. It's good that I have some time, but it's too easy for me to just throw up my hands and say that it's such an interruption and how troublesome...but perhaps it will turn out to be a blessing in disguise. I'm pretty thankful to have been able to work part-time while studying full-time, but as of January there will be no part-time and my role becomes automatically full-time. If my focus for the next few years is school, I don't know how that will look for my work situation. As appealing as the thought is, I can't stop working altogether as moving home is not an option at this point :{ so we'll see how it all plays out.
I'm really tempted to run away into the forest somewhere and live a monastic life making cheese and chocolate- still an excellent backup plan, in my opinion:) Or maybe I should run off to sea. That sounds like fun. Like in the Tim books by Edward Ardizzone - anyone???
Don't worry, I'll post something more cheerful next time but today it's all about being pensive and introspective ;) Thanks for sticking with me!
I just don't enjoy curve balls.
This isn't meant to sound all dramatic or anything, it's just that it shouldn't be a surprise to me at this point, how changeable life is. Really, that's one constant we can be sure of, right? That living involves a lot of change, voluntary or not?
Basically, I'm now faced with some work/school choices again that I'm not sure I'm ready for. I was kind of heading in this direction but now I'm getting a pretty significant push that way, and it's out of my control. What this means is that I've been advised my current work situation is not sustainable and that I have some decisions to make for the new year. It's good that I have some time, but it's too easy for me to just throw up my hands and say that it's such an interruption and how troublesome...but perhaps it will turn out to be a blessing in disguise. I'm pretty thankful to have been able to work part-time while studying full-time, but as of January there will be no part-time and my role becomes automatically full-time. If my focus for the next few years is school, I don't know how that will look for my work situation. As appealing as the thought is, I can't stop working altogether as moving home is not an option at this point :{ so we'll see how it all plays out.
I'm really tempted to run away into the forest somewhere and live a monastic life making cheese and chocolate- still an excellent backup plan, in my opinion:) Or maybe I should run off to sea. That sounds like fun. Like in the Tim books by Edward Ardizzone - anyone???
Don't worry, I'll post something more cheerful next time but today it's all about being pensive and introspective ;) Thanks for sticking with me!
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Mixed feelings about geese
For some reason, I am thinking of geese. Every time I see them in their v-formation and hear them honking all the way to wherever they fly to, I am sad to see them go because it signals that winter is approaching in all its dudgeon. Okay, it's beautiful too, but hopefully a long ways off still.
However, I'm not going to miss the goose poop that's all over the bike paths. Plus, those are some cheeky birds and they do not get out of the way for a charging bicycle let alone a lone runner, so in that way they're kind of pesky birds.
However, the Canada goose is a fond image for me, probably from seeing so many of those Benjamin Chee Chee prints in dentists' offices and such. I think this one is one of the most well-known- does anyone know of these outside of Ontario? I gather they're pretty famous.
On an unrelated note, I just found out that I've been calling Canada Geese "ouaouaron" which in fact is the word for a type of bullfrog. Losing...grip...on reality... heheh. The funny part is I have most definitely propogated this falsehood to at least one other person and now they're dispatched into the world with a wrong idea, *gasp*. It shouldn't come as a huge surprise if you are acquainted with my family and our tendency to get words wrong in both official languages, but I clung to this for so long, sniff. ;)
As I was contemplating geese for no reason in particular, I was reminded of the song by Arlo Guthrie that my dad had on a record called "Me and My Goose." I can remember sitting scooched right up to those big old speakers in the living room, soaking in the song. I won't say it's why I'm a vegetarian ;) but it was such a sad/funny song and I don't think my dad has that record anymore. I youtubed it the other day and it wasn't quite the same (isn't that always how it happens with childhood memories?) but still good. Poor Al, and poor kid that was his friend, heheh. Along that vein, there was also that book that was also a song that we read in grade two about foxes stealing the chickens and bringing them back to their den, for some reason I was so traumatized about that. Did anyone else ever read that in school?
So ends my rant/ramble about all things (well, some things) geese.
Have a great day! :)
However, I'm not going to miss the goose poop that's all over the bike paths. Plus, those are some cheeky birds and they do not get out of the way for a charging bicycle let alone a lone runner, so in that way they're kind of pesky birds.
However, the Canada goose is a fond image for me, probably from seeing so many of those Benjamin Chee Chee prints in dentists' offices and such. I think this one is one of the most well-known- does anyone know of these outside of Ontario? I gather they're pretty famous.
On an unrelated note, I just found out that I've been calling Canada Geese "ouaouaron" which in fact is the word for a type of bullfrog. Losing...grip...on reality... heheh. The funny part is I have most definitely propogated this falsehood to at least one other person and now they're dispatched into the world with a wrong idea, *gasp*. It shouldn't come as a huge surprise if you are acquainted with my family and our tendency to get words wrong in both official languages, but I clung to this for so long, sniff. ;)
As I was contemplating geese for no reason in particular, I was reminded of the song by Arlo Guthrie that my dad had on a record called "Me and My Goose." I can remember sitting scooched right up to those big old speakers in the living room, soaking in the song. I won't say it's why I'm a vegetarian ;) but it was such a sad/funny song and I don't think my dad has that record anymore. I youtubed it the other day and it wasn't quite the same (isn't that always how it happens with childhood memories?) but still good. Poor Al, and poor kid that was his friend, heheh. Along that vein, there was also that book that was also a song that we read in grade two about foxes stealing the chickens and bringing them back to their den, for some reason I was so traumatized about that. Did anyone else ever read that in school?
So ends my rant/ramble about all things (well, some things) geese.
Have a great day! :)
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
I can't get enough of fall flavours ~
Last night, I found some chai I bought with my friend Jenny in Dundas last year, so I had a large cup of it. Then another. And it's even tastier than I remembered. I couldn't stop smelling the tea in the little bag - what is it about chai that smells like Christmas? Yet somehow it smacks of fall- curling up under a woollen blanket with some tea, a good read, and maybe something sweet to nibble on.
Reading this lovely lady's blog makes me want to write about crafty stuff, or food, or beautiful things. I just like how she writes. I haven't dabbled much in any sort of handiwork recently but hope to start soon. Really, I guess I'm trying to say I may post a lot in the next while because I love fall. And fall makes me want to bake. And read. And write poetry (heheh). And sometimes cry a little, just because.
Right now, at work, I'm indulging in a little decadence. Each morning I heat up some milk on the stove, hurriedly make some coffee in my French press (with espresso too, the last few days), and throw a dash of hazelnut syrup in my thermos. Yes, I haul around too much stuff in my backpack to and from work, but the thermos is a necessity. That's my cheater version of a latte - much cheaper than buying every day, I assure you!
To go with this, I've got a pumpkin chocolate chip muffin from the batch I made for book club on Sunday. They're super easy to make, and a lot of fun, and baking for me isn't complete without a smidgen of wine as I go and some singing. (My apologies to my roommate, heheh.) Yep, it's a tough life, hazelnut café au lait (that's more what it is) and a pumpkin muffin, wrapping up the quintessential spices of autumn. I'm going to need to get another job if I want to keep up all this baking and whatnot ;)
I'll leave you with a photo from my marathon post. It's a little early - the leaves certainly aren't this colour yet, and I'm upset because a ton of maples in my city seem to be succumbing to a horrible disease, so here's a leaf I spied on the sidewalk a few years ago. Just a little teaser until we really get the fall colours:) I'll be sure to snap some photos at that time.
Reading this lovely lady's blog makes me want to write about crafty stuff, or food, or beautiful things. I just like how she writes. I haven't dabbled much in any sort of handiwork recently but hope to start soon. Really, I guess I'm trying to say I may post a lot in the next while because I love fall. And fall makes me want to bake. And read. And write poetry (heheh). And sometimes cry a little, just because.
Right now, at work, I'm indulging in a little decadence. Each morning I heat up some milk on the stove, hurriedly make some coffee in my French press (with espresso too, the last few days), and throw a dash of hazelnut syrup in my thermos. Yes, I haul around too much stuff in my backpack to and from work, but the thermos is a necessity. That's my cheater version of a latte - much cheaper than buying every day, I assure you!
To go with this, I've got a pumpkin chocolate chip muffin from the batch I made for book club on Sunday. They're super easy to make, and a lot of fun, and baking for me isn't complete without a smidgen of wine as I go and some singing. (My apologies to my roommate, heheh.) Yep, it's a tough life, hazelnut café au lait (that's more what it is) and a pumpkin muffin, wrapping up the quintessential spices of autumn. I'm going to need to get another job if I want to keep up all this baking and whatnot ;)
I'll leave you with a photo from my marathon post. It's a little early - the leaves certainly aren't this colour yet, and I'm upset because a ton of maples in my city seem to be succumbing to a horrible disease, so here's a leaf I spied on the sidewalk a few years ago. Just a little teaser until we really get the fall colours:) I'll be sure to snap some photos at that time.
Monday, September 19, 2011
A Monday post
I'm really doubting the wisdom of writing anything on a Monday. Normally I don't like my behaviour to be confined by a day of the week, like "so what if it's Monday, I don't have to be grumpy, I'll act how I please," but today it has hit me with full force.
Last night was a bit later than I would have liked but it was a good evening. After procrastinating and not getting a lick of homework done (oops!)...this right after I made my brother not visit me till he had done his...what a good sister, right...I whipped up some pumpkin chocolate chip muffins for book club then headed downtown with my friend Sarah B. We joined some other friends for a free outdoor show as part of Car-Free Festival, Olenka & the Autumn Lovers. I've seen them perform several times and it's always delightful; this time was no exception.
There was one funny incident while we were standing there watching - this one guy off to the side kept staring at me and offering to throw out my coffee cup, he was cracked out I guess you could say (I'm sure that's not PC but I'm not sure how else to say it) and my friend Rebecca whispered to me, "I didn't realize you were meeting your boyfriend down here," and I replied, "I didn't know either." It was pretty amusing.
After that, we headed to the one girl's house for book club, where there were plenty of snacks - fresh pesto on baguette!- laughter, conversation and wine, not to mention good company. It was a good evening- how could it not be? :)
Afterwards, my roommate biked next to me and our friend who were walking. By the time we got home it was pretty late and I had to wait up for my brother to text me to say he made it home after his concert that he went to. I passed out just after midnight with my phone next to me and he made it home okay (oops!) but I was pretty exhausted.
After a windy ride to work (you lie, Environment Canada, that was far windier than 13 km/hr), I got here with windburned eyeballs and had to change lickety-split with two minutes to spare, only to realize I was supposed to come in an hour earlier today. Yup. It's one of those days.
Tonight I hopefully get to talk on Skype (my first time! heheh) with my friend Megan who's in Calgary. I haven't spoken with her since the end of August so that will be good to catch up. Tomorrow I have a staff meeting for the French project staff with the daycare after my regular work day, so it will be long, but oh well. This month is getting crazy already...although I suppose if I didn't insist on cramming so much into my social calendar, it would be a little less hectic...However, as excited as I am to be a student again, I'm determined not to let homework rule my life. We'll see how that plays out ;)
Well, that's about all I have to say for now. Hopefully I can come up with something a little more engaging next time.
Adios!
Last night was a bit later than I would have liked but it was a good evening. After procrastinating and not getting a lick of homework done (oops!)...this right after I made my brother not visit me till he had done his...what a good sister, right...I whipped up some pumpkin chocolate chip muffins for book club then headed downtown with my friend Sarah B. We joined some other friends for a free outdoor show as part of Car-Free Festival, Olenka & the Autumn Lovers. I've seen them perform several times and it's always delightful; this time was no exception.
There was one funny incident while we were standing there watching - this one guy off to the side kept staring at me and offering to throw out my coffee cup, he was cracked out I guess you could say (I'm sure that's not PC but I'm not sure how else to say it) and my friend Rebecca whispered to me, "I didn't realize you were meeting your boyfriend down here," and I replied, "I didn't know either." It was pretty amusing.
After that, we headed to the one girl's house for book club, where there were plenty of snacks - fresh pesto on baguette!- laughter, conversation and wine, not to mention good company. It was a good evening- how could it not be? :)
Afterwards, my roommate biked next to me and our friend who were walking. By the time we got home it was pretty late and I had to wait up for my brother to text me to say he made it home after his concert that he went to. I passed out just after midnight with my phone next to me and he made it home okay (oops!) but I was pretty exhausted.
After a windy ride to work (you lie, Environment Canada, that was far windier than 13 km/hr), I got here with windburned eyeballs and had to change lickety-split with two minutes to spare, only to realize I was supposed to come in an hour earlier today. Yup. It's one of those days.
Tonight I hopefully get to talk on Skype (my first time! heheh) with my friend Megan who's in Calgary. I haven't spoken with her since the end of August so that will be good to catch up. Tomorrow I have a staff meeting for the French project staff with the daycare after my regular work day, so it will be long, but oh well. This month is getting crazy already...although I suppose if I didn't insist on cramming so much into my social calendar, it would be a little less hectic...However, as excited as I am to be a student again, I'm determined not to let homework rule my life. We'll see how that plays out ;)
Well, that's about all I have to say for now. Hopefully I can come up with something a little more engaging next time.
Adios!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
J'ai trouvée la paix profonde...
Philippians 4:6-7
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
This verse just came to mind and it's pretty timely. This morning, I feel like I have a lot to worry about- not that I'm overly anxious about where I'm at, it's just I'm overtired and things seem like more of a big deal. That and the fact that I'm prone to worrying over something in an attempt to solve it, which isn't the most helpful tactic, I've found. It doesn't stop at "don't worry," it keeps going about peace! Aaah! :)
It doesn't help that I haven't been sleeping well. Maybe I'm more apprehensive about school than I thought. I'm sure it will pass. Because really- it's my first week of school and I'm excited! :) Wheee! Now I just have to prioritize and organize and actually plan my time if I want to get good marks.
Looking back, a year ago was so different for me. I didn't really know what to do for a career path, my sister was moving and there was a lot of difficulty surrounding that for me, and I was more or less listless, I guess you could say. Maybe that's just looking back, in hindsight, but after a few years of having little clue what to do in life or what school to do to get there, it was kind of discouraging.
Now, one year later, I'm going back to school (for real this time), I'm part of a pretty amazing community here, and I've gained a lot of clarity in friendships and such. It's such a blessing. Yes, this last year has been fraught with a lot of ups and downs, and I just wanted to give up a lot of times, but it seems worth it now. I can look forward, fueled by first-day jitters and some pretty great folk, and keep learning how to give in community after doing so much receiving recently.
Thanks to you, too, my blogger friends, for checking in, for being there across the miles. I pray that this year will be enriching for you as well.
Don't be afraid to look at where you've come from - you can learn so much about where you're going.
(That was a little bit corny, I just made it up on the spot. But I'm gonna keep it there anyway.) ;)
Have a fantastic day!
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
This verse just came to mind and it's pretty timely. This morning, I feel like I have a lot to worry about- not that I'm overly anxious about where I'm at, it's just I'm overtired and things seem like more of a big deal. That and the fact that I'm prone to worrying over something in an attempt to solve it, which isn't the most helpful tactic, I've found. It doesn't stop at "don't worry," it keeps going about peace! Aaah! :)
It doesn't help that I haven't been sleeping well. Maybe I'm more apprehensive about school than I thought. I'm sure it will pass. Because really- it's my first week of school and I'm excited! :) Wheee! Now I just have to prioritize and organize and actually plan my time if I want to get good marks.
Looking back, a year ago was so different for me. I didn't really know what to do for a career path, my sister was moving and there was a lot of difficulty surrounding that for me, and I was more or less listless, I guess you could say. Maybe that's just looking back, in hindsight, but after a few years of having little clue what to do in life or what school to do to get there, it was kind of discouraging.
Now, one year later, I'm going back to school (for real this time), I'm part of a pretty amazing community here, and I've gained a lot of clarity in friendships and such. It's such a blessing. Yes, this last year has been fraught with a lot of ups and downs, and I just wanted to give up a lot of times, but it seems worth it now. I can look forward, fueled by first-day jitters and some pretty great folk, and keep learning how to give in community after doing so much receiving recently.
Thanks to you, too, my blogger friends, for checking in, for being there across the miles. I pray that this year will be enriching for you as well.
Don't be afraid to look at where you've come from - you can learn so much about where you're going.
(That was a little bit corny, I just made it up on the spot. But I'm gonna keep it there anyway.) ;)
Have a fantastic day!
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
What is it about prayer lately?
Last night at the home church I've been attending, the topic was on prayer. It's no coincidence that everywhere I turn, prayer seems to be a focus- at my other church they're doing a prayer night, I've been praying for some friends who just found out they're expecting after a long time of not expecting, that sort of thing.
Yesterday, I didn't participate much but decided mostly to listen. Prayer doesn't come easily to me and although I would say I am living more prayerfully in some ways, in others I just don't take the time to praise, or just to listen.
A song came to mind that I first heard of from a friend (thanks, Chrystal) and I found it on my music player for my bike ride to work- What Do I Know of Holy by Addison Road. If you haven't heard this song, it's worth looking up, because for me, anyways, it expresses some of what I keep coming back to and don't always have the words to express.
On another note, I had a really tough commute into work this morning due to biking straight into the wind pretty well the whole way. My quads were burning and I was barely moving, and, to make matters worse, a block before work, I had a very near collision with a car that was turning left. Newsflash: as a cyclist it's practically impossible to stop on a dime on wet pavement. Kindly try not to kill me over it. You'll get to where you're going soon enough and probably won't notice the two second delay to your drive, it probably won't ruin your day to drive defensively and it would sure make mine better too. It was a close call and I think my eyeballs were wide open the whole rest of the way down the hill and my heart was going crazy fast. Not my idea of a fun time.
I guess I was thinking of that in relation to prayer- how it can feel like pedaling into the wind and not really getting anywhere, or how close calls can really make you appreciate what you have, once your heartbeat returns to the semi-normal range, heheh. It's funny how something like biking to work turns my mind more to talking to God more often than usual. That can only be a good thing, right?
Now maybe I should work on my cyclist road-rage...
Yesterday, I didn't participate much but decided mostly to listen. Prayer doesn't come easily to me and although I would say I am living more prayerfully in some ways, in others I just don't take the time to praise, or just to listen.
A song came to mind that I first heard of from a friend (thanks, Chrystal) and I found it on my music player for my bike ride to work- What Do I Know of Holy by Addison Road. If you haven't heard this song, it's worth looking up, because for me, anyways, it expresses some of what I keep coming back to and don't always have the words to express.
On another note, I had a really tough commute into work this morning due to biking straight into the wind pretty well the whole way. My quads were burning and I was barely moving, and, to make matters worse, a block before work, I had a very near collision with a car that was turning left. Newsflash: as a cyclist it's practically impossible to stop on a dime on wet pavement. Kindly try not to kill me over it. You'll get to where you're going soon enough and probably won't notice the two second delay to your drive, it probably won't ruin your day to drive defensively and it would sure make mine better too. It was a close call and I think my eyeballs were wide open the whole rest of the way down the hill and my heart was going crazy fast. Not my idea of a fun time.
I guess I was thinking of that in relation to prayer- how it can feel like pedaling into the wind and not really getting anywhere, or how close calls can really make you appreciate what you have, once your heartbeat returns to the semi-normal range, heheh. It's funny how something like biking to work turns my mind more to talking to God more often than usual. That can only be a good thing, right?
Now maybe I should work on my cyclist road-rage...
Sunday, September 4, 2011
I'm baaack in the blogosphere!
Okay, I wasn't gone that long, I know:) I just felt like making a scene there.
I've been pondering what sort of meaningful words to write, since I usually ramble quite a lot, but a reasonable stream of thought seems to be escaping me still. My theory is that I've been living more fully the last while and that, for some reason, makes it more difficult to just write, particularly when it comes to my manuscript (if I can even call it that, I keep chopping it up abysmally). Does that make any sense? I hope it won't last too long, but there you have it.
In the last year or two, I wrote a lot- poetry, journalling, whatever- because I really needed that outlet and way of expressing myself, even if no one would ever see it. To be honest, the last year and a half or so have been somewhat miserable, and I can't trace this to one particular thing except for the throes of growing up, I suppose. Figuring myself out and all that. Learning to stand up for myself in the workplace, understanding what's important to me and why. As I write that, I feel like I'm still fifteen and I don't particularly care to go back there, but that feeling of continually growing into something and striving in life hangs over me from time to time.
In other ways, it's been a reevaluating of relationships- family and friends. With this, I've experienced some loss- friends and family moving away or simply being less present in my life and I in theirs. Not a fan of change particularly, I grappled with this and had to come to terms with the inevitability of these sort of events. I mean, it's going to keep happening, and wallowing about it solves nothing. Plus I don't like to let myself wallow for very long.
So. This wasn't meant to be one of those self-reflecting *yawn* posts. It's just that the last few weeks and even months have caused me to reevaluate, and appreciate more greatly the wonderful people that are in my life. Visiting home and seeing some really dear friends has done wonders for my spirit, although family time is never too quiet:) Recent events have been showing me that I am so blessed and wouldn't wish my life to be anything other than what it is, right now. How often can I say that in all honesty? Sure, I'm generally an optimist, but as finite humans don't we always want other circumstances and realities?
It's a sudden surprise to find myself truly happy. My heart is full, and I can't stop thanking God for the story He's writing and weaving me into. Yes, there's pain in life and I'm never great at confronting it, but in this season I am so thankful, and I wanted to say that in this blog. Like anything, I think that in some questions being addressed, more questions are raised, but that doesn't seem so threatening right now for some reason. Mind you, I haven't started courses yet this year (harhar), so maybe check in later! Really, though, I think the hard lessons I've been learning certainly have been deepening my faith, somehow, and equipping me for what I was to experience, although little did I suspect. I do hear of that happening but, as of late, couldn't really trace it in my own life. Until now.
Joy. It's not something I intend to take for granted.
I've been pondering what sort of meaningful words to write, since I usually ramble quite a lot, but a reasonable stream of thought seems to be escaping me still. My theory is that I've been living more fully the last while and that, for some reason, makes it more difficult to just write, particularly when it comes to my manuscript (if I can even call it that, I keep chopping it up abysmally). Does that make any sense? I hope it won't last too long, but there you have it.
In the last year or two, I wrote a lot- poetry, journalling, whatever- because I really needed that outlet and way of expressing myself, even if no one would ever see it. To be honest, the last year and a half or so have been somewhat miserable, and I can't trace this to one particular thing except for the throes of growing up, I suppose. Figuring myself out and all that. Learning to stand up for myself in the workplace, understanding what's important to me and why. As I write that, I feel like I'm still fifteen and I don't particularly care to go back there, but that feeling of continually growing into something and striving in life hangs over me from time to time.
In other ways, it's been a reevaluating of relationships- family and friends. With this, I've experienced some loss- friends and family moving away or simply being less present in my life and I in theirs. Not a fan of change particularly, I grappled with this and had to come to terms with the inevitability of these sort of events. I mean, it's going to keep happening, and wallowing about it solves nothing. Plus I don't like to let myself wallow for very long.
So. This wasn't meant to be one of those self-reflecting *yawn* posts. It's just that the last few weeks and even months have caused me to reevaluate, and appreciate more greatly the wonderful people that are in my life. Visiting home and seeing some really dear friends has done wonders for my spirit, although family time is never too quiet:) Recent events have been showing me that I am so blessed and wouldn't wish my life to be anything other than what it is, right now. How often can I say that in all honesty? Sure, I'm generally an optimist, but as finite humans don't we always want other circumstances and realities?
It's a sudden surprise to find myself truly happy. My heart is full, and I can't stop thanking God for the story He's writing and weaving me into. Yes, there's pain in life and I'm never great at confronting it, but in this season I am so thankful, and I wanted to say that in this blog. Like anything, I think that in some questions being addressed, more questions are raised, but that doesn't seem so threatening right now for some reason. Mind you, I haven't started courses yet this year (harhar), so maybe check in later! Really, though, I think the hard lessons I've been learning certainly have been deepening my faith, somehow, and equipping me for what I was to experience, although little did I suspect. I do hear of that happening but, as of late, couldn't really trace it in my own life. Until now.
Joy. It's not something I intend to take for granted.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
A beauteous wedding and some sibling time
This past Sunday, I had the privilege of attending the wedding of my high school friend Amanda to Keith. They made a sweet, beaming couple and it was a lovely mix of idyllic country setting, beauty and laid-back-ness. Held at a sugar camp, it was close to home but I'd never been to it. Amanda asked me to do a reading and it was great to be a part of it in that way. The officiant was my old pastor at the Baptist church back in the day. For a while, he came over every Sunday after church for lunch with my Opa as well. It was such an interesting mix- this soft-spoken, humourous Irish pastor conversing with my loud, outspoken grandfather. I digress- let's get back to the photos.
As you can see, it was quite a solemn affair.
The bridesmaids, Courtney and Mandy, all friends with Amanda since elementary school.
I was quite taken with this chandelier and interior of this building.
The superb bride and I
A good many of us.
We were going a little stir-crazy so I proposed a walk/hike down the back roads after it rained. Jon came home so that was pretty great- I got Naomi and Mathieu from Ottawa when I went, and we spent a bit of time together.
Some thistles by the side of the road. Alas, this is the best my camera could do.
As usual, the long weekend I took passed by quite quickly, but I took Ruth out for her birthday for lunch, joined my family at some friends' cottage for an afternoon, and spent most of Saturday in Ottawa. I neglected to get any photos, but had a wonderful visit with my friends Chant and Nat and spent some time with Chant's quickly-growing boys, and got to see Nat before her baby comes. I'm blessed to get together with these girls when I'm home, at least once a year anyway. Thanks for the visit!
Following that, I headed to my friend Laura's place. She's a resident at CHEO now, and it's fun that I will get to visit her when I'm seeing my family too. Her condo is so homey and her study is pretty awesome. We went used-book shopping and I picked up Carrie's War. That evening, we attended an open-air production of Antony and Cleopatra at a park, put on by A Company of Fools, where Mathieu and Naomi joined us. It was a humourous take on the play and we enjoyed it.
That about sums up my time. It was pretty sweet to get an earful of the Lanark County accent at the wedding; it's not often I'm treated to those sounds and it's quite distinct if you come across it. They say the Ottawa Valley is one of the distinctive accents of Canada, up there with Newfoundland and I forget where else.
I'm off for a few days and I'm sure I'll have more to post soon.
~Later!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
The countdown is on...
...until my vacation, woo hoo! That's what I'm focusing on, since these days, my job is making me mental. But that's okay, because....in exactly two days I will be about half of the way to my family's house, in a rental car, most likely singing loudly and amazingly the whole way home along with the music. Okay, amazingly could be a stretch, but no one will ever know, since I have no passenger, heheh. I really was hoping that my little sister could come visit me and then I could drive her home, but as it turns out I would have had no time to entertain her since I've been working like a madwoman. Plus, she has a summer job and I don't think can take the time off- when did my little sister graduate high school and become all grown up? Seriously?! She's burning past the milestones- prom, soon graduation, and applying for university next year- it's hard to believe.
The day I get home is the day after her birthday, so I'm hoping to do something fun with her while I'm home. It's a short time, but I plan to pack in a lot- visiting my friends Chantal and Nathalie on the weekend and my friend Laura who recently moved to Ottawa, shopping for a wedding present...for the wedding I'm attending two days later, heheh...kicking a soccer ball around with my brothers or some such thing. Oh, and the wedding at the sugar camp. I'm excited! My previous boss at a local restaurant there is catering, from what I hear, so that promises to be tasty. I'm all about the kind of food at weddings:) She is a tremendous cook. It'll be great to see the girls again, my highschool friends that I've kept in touch with. We try to get together once or twice a year and that has been great.
Hopefully I'll get together with my sister Naomi, too, who's also in Ottawa. It's weird now that when I go to visit, some of my family is around and some is not since many have moved out and I don't usually get to see them all. I'm looking forward to sleeping in, having some deliciously dark coffee the way my dad makes it, and plunking away at the piano with the few songs I know:) I'm raising the bar high for this vacation, wouldn't you say?
Anyways, after that, I'm coming back to London where I'll get to visit with a certain friend so that will be loads of fun. I'm hoping for sunny weather that week so that it will be favourable to spending lots of time outside!
All in all, I'm counting eleven days from when I leave till when I have to be back at my desk, so no complaints here! : )
On another note, all this biking to work makes me incredibly hungry- I used to eat breakfast on my first break at work, now I have to have something at home, when I first get to work, and all day it seems like, hahah. Fine by me, though:) It reminds me of a scenario that often got repeated when Liz and I lived together:
Liz (arriving home, or waking up before her shift): "Man, I am ravishing!"
Me: "I'm glad you have such a high opinion of yourself."
Liz: "Auugghh, I mean 'ravenous!'"
Haha. One of my favourite Elizabeth-isms.
On the weekend, working for my friend at the market, I got paid in food and am enjoying a rather interesting salad. Living kale, broccoli sprouts, blueberries and grape tomatoes- all organic, all local. What a treat. Mind you, the flavour combination is a little odd- bitter, peppery, sweet, tart- but it's delicious all the same:)
It's hard to believe school is so soon and I've so much to do before then. However, I intend to fully enjoy my time off and the time spent with wonderful people:)
Later, 'gator!
The day I get home is the day after her birthday, so I'm hoping to do something fun with her while I'm home. It's a short time, but I plan to pack in a lot- visiting my friends Chantal and Nathalie on the weekend and my friend Laura who recently moved to Ottawa, shopping for a wedding present...for the wedding I'm attending two days later, heheh...kicking a soccer ball around with my brothers or some such thing. Oh, and the wedding at the sugar camp. I'm excited! My previous boss at a local restaurant there is catering, from what I hear, so that promises to be tasty. I'm all about the kind of food at weddings:) She is a tremendous cook. It'll be great to see the girls again, my highschool friends that I've kept in touch with. We try to get together once or twice a year and that has been great.
Hopefully I'll get together with my sister Naomi, too, who's also in Ottawa. It's weird now that when I go to visit, some of my family is around and some is not since many have moved out and I don't usually get to see them all. I'm looking forward to sleeping in, having some deliciously dark coffee the way my dad makes it, and plunking away at the piano with the few songs I know:) I'm raising the bar high for this vacation, wouldn't you say?
Anyways, after that, I'm coming back to London where I'll get to visit with a certain friend so that will be loads of fun. I'm hoping for sunny weather that week so that it will be favourable to spending lots of time outside!
All in all, I'm counting eleven days from when I leave till when I have to be back at my desk, so no complaints here! : )
On another note, all this biking to work makes me incredibly hungry- I used to eat breakfast on my first break at work, now I have to have something at home, when I first get to work, and all day it seems like, hahah. Fine by me, though:) It reminds me of a scenario that often got repeated when Liz and I lived together:
Liz (arriving home, or waking up before her shift): "Man, I am ravishing!"
Me: "I'm glad you have such a high opinion of yourself."
Liz: "Auugghh, I mean 'ravenous!'"
Haha. One of my favourite Elizabeth-isms.
On the weekend, working for my friend at the market, I got paid in food and am enjoying a rather interesting salad. Living kale, broccoli sprouts, blueberries and grape tomatoes- all organic, all local. What a treat. Mind you, the flavour combination is a little odd- bitter, peppery, sweet, tart- but it's delicious all the same:)
It's hard to believe school is so soon and I've so much to do before then. However, I intend to fully enjoy my time off and the time spent with wonderful people:)
Later, 'gator!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
"Ouf"
It's my favourite word these days- I supposed because it can be used to express a number of emotions in one reaction. I'm borrowing it from all the French comic books I've ever read, heheh.
Speaking of French comic books, has anyone seen the Smurfs movie? I can't decide if I will see it because it should have been made in French, let's be honest ;) and it's not set in the forest with the little huts. Haha. That's not really why.
it's one of those days.
Today, I biked to work in the pouring rain and alas, once at work, deteriorated quickly into a grump. I hate getting all damp and chilled and now I'm trying to inconspicuously dry my wet clothes at an empty desk. Here's hoping they dry before home-time.
Unlike a certain cycling-in-the-rain enthusiast, I can't say I care for it. I don't mind actually riding in the rain, it's getting to my destination looking like a drowned rat and not feeling much better that bothers me, particularly when I'm expected to look somewhat presentable. In other news, I forgot to cover my bike seat till it was soaked, sheesh. Plus I burnt my tongue on my coffee.
I could use some tea and a pair of socks.
Work is overwhelming at the moment- being in an industry that is heavily affected by recent market upheavals will do that. It means I'm a little short on patience but I'm working on it, I promise:) Trying to be understanding with people takes more of an effort when everyone and their mother has multiple questions and there's no chance to breathe all day long.
But anyways- everything is not all about me and I'm done complaining now. There's more to life and I don't want to waste my time wishing things were otherwise. (I say that because it's too easy to do, some days.)
I've recently re-discovered a certain author and in particular, a favourite childhood book. A few years ago, my family purged their bookshelves and got rid of a ton of books because of their sheer number all over the house, probably. Admittedly, I'm still a little bitter that I wasn't consulted, being the book-lover of the family, and I don't like to think of the favourites that are irreplaceable or old that I may not see again.
One of these was Many Moons, by James Thurber. I found this at my local library and was unabashedly delighted- one of the best fairytale-type books ever but in a simple, prosaic way, if that makes any sense. It's made even better by illustrations by Louis Slobodkin- awesome.
Of course, I snatched up another book by him at the library that I had not read, called 13 Clocks- a rather curious read but irresistible as well.
Maybe it's a little odd that some of my favourites are from my dad's childhood or before, but I think that's what you get with a primary schoolteacher for a dad, one who brings home his favourites. Anyways, I have no problem with it, all it means is that I get a lot of blank stares when I mention books that people should read. (Or borrow for their kids.) While picking blueberries with my friends, I reminded them of Blueberries for Sal, but they hadn't heard of it (tsk, tsk), so I may have to get a copy for their daughter when she's able to read :) Mind you, it was probably written in the fifties as well...here we go again...heheh.
Okay, I'll stop rambling about miscellaneous children's books. I'm not even sure if anyone who reads this would be interested by that, so I may just be humouring myself and alienating all of you, heheh ;) Hope not. I'll tone it down for the next post, I promise.
One more thing about the "ouf!" is that it's been a week (or two, or three) of craziness but it will even out - maybe? I got a response from a part-time job I really was hoping for and it didn't happen the way I'd hoped. I've been emotionally drained by what my friends are going through. I got cleated in soccer, got a big bruise in soccer and could barely move my arm after ball hockey- but again, I can move, I can jump, I can collide into people- life is good!
Now, to get through the rest of the day so I can put my damp clothes back on and bike to church. Looking forward to it!
Thanks for your patience in reading, if you've made it this far :) Ciao!
Speaking of French comic books, has anyone seen the Smurfs movie? I can't decide if I will see it because it should have been made in French, let's be honest ;) and it's not set in the forest with the little huts. Haha. That's not really why.
it's one of those days.
Today, I biked to work in the pouring rain and alas, once at work, deteriorated quickly into a grump. I hate getting all damp and chilled and now I'm trying to inconspicuously dry my wet clothes at an empty desk. Here's hoping they dry before home-time.
Unlike a certain cycling-in-the-rain enthusiast, I can't say I care for it. I don't mind actually riding in the rain, it's getting to my destination looking like a drowned rat and not feeling much better that bothers me, particularly when I'm expected to look somewhat presentable. In other news, I forgot to cover my bike seat till it was soaked, sheesh. Plus I burnt my tongue on my coffee.
I could use some tea and a pair of socks.
Work is overwhelming at the moment- being in an industry that is heavily affected by recent market upheavals will do that. It means I'm a little short on patience but I'm working on it, I promise:) Trying to be understanding with people takes more of an effort when everyone and their mother has multiple questions and there's no chance to breathe all day long.
But anyways- everything is not all about me and I'm done complaining now. There's more to life and I don't want to waste my time wishing things were otherwise. (I say that because it's too easy to do, some days.)
I've recently re-discovered a certain author and in particular, a favourite childhood book. A few years ago, my family purged their bookshelves and got rid of a ton of books because of their sheer number all over the house, probably. Admittedly, I'm still a little bitter that I wasn't consulted, being the book-lover of the family, and I don't like to think of the favourites that are irreplaceable or old that I may not see again.
One of these was Many Moons, by James Thurber. I found this at my local library and was unabashedly delighted- one of the best fairytale-type books ever but in a simple, prosaic way, if that makes any sense. It's made even better by illustrations by Louis Slobodkin- awesome.
Of course, I snatched up another book by him at the library that I had not read, called 13 Clocks- a rather curious read but irresistible as well.
Maybe it's a little odd that some of my favourites are from my dad's childhood or before, but I think that's what you get with a primary schoolteacher for a dad, one who brings home his favourites. Anyways, I have no problem with it, all it means is that I get a lot of blank stares when I mention books that people should read. (Or borrow for their kids.) While picking blueberries with my friends, I reminded them of Blueberries for Sal, but they hadn't heard of it (tsk, tsk), so I may have to get a copy for their daughter when she's able to read :) Mind you, it was probably written in the fifties as well...here we go again...heheh.
Okay, I'll stop rambling about miscellaneous children's books. I'm not even sure if anyone who reads this would be interested by that, so I may just be humouring myself and alienating all of you, heheh ;) Hope not. I'll tone it down for the next post, I promise.
One more thing about the "ouf!" is that it's been a week (or two, or three) of craziness but it will even out - maybe? I got a response from a part-time job I really was hoping for and it didn't happen the way I'd hoped. I've been emotionally drained by what my friends are going through. I got cleated in soccer, got a big bruise in soccer and could barely move my arm after ball hockey- but again, I can move, I can jump, I can collide into people- life is good!
Now, to get through the rest of the day so I can put my damp clothes back on and bike to church. Looking forward to it!
Thanks for your patience in reading, if you've made it this far :) Ciao!
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Happy things
1) The sound of feet walking in Birkenstocks- it's beautiful. I indulged my inner granola and bought a pair and the sound they make is like hushed happiness. Whatever that means :)
2) There's an ice cream truck outside my work today, no joke. Everyone gets an ice cream, so I have a twist cone sitting on my desk and it's making me smile.
3) Home church-type-thing last night was particularly thought-provoking and encouraging at the same time. I love those people and they love me back, and I know community is so much more than just liking the people you get along with, but it sure is great.
4) Home-made iced tea. I'm pretty good at it ;)
5) My neighbour's amazing flowers. He has such a knack with plants and it always looks gorgeous when I walk by each day and I look forward to walking by.
6) The gift of mobility. Despite my wish to be graceful and poised and be good at dancing, I'm still glad to get out there on the field and play whatever sports are going (mainly soccer since it's the only one I can understand, haha.) Unfortunately I'm not great at sports requiring gracefulness and coordination but it's pretty important for me to be able to move around, as evidenced by my mood when I get injured for long periods of time, yech. Movement makes me happy.
In spite of the ups and downs of late, there's so much that I can miss in worrying or trying to get things down. It sure helps when I slow down and take time to smell the flowers. Literally. I don't know what kinds they are but they're as tall as me and they smell pretty :)
It's 30-something degrees and tonight is ultimate, oof, that's gonna be interesting! Maybe we'll win or get the game done really quickly, that would be nice.
Later, 'gators.
2) There's an ice cream truck outside my work today, no joke. Everyone gets an ice cream, so I have a twist cone sitting on my desk and it's making me smile.
3) Home church-type-thing last night was particularly thought-provoking and encouraging at the same time. I love those people and they love me back, and I know community is so much more than just liking the people you get along with, but it sure is great.
4) Home-made iced tea. I'm pretty good at it ;)
5) My neighbour's amazing flowers. He has such a knack with plants and it always looks gorgeous when I walk by each day and I look forward to walking by.
6) The gift of mobility. Despite my wish to be graceful and poised and be good at dancing, I'm still glad to get out there on the field and play whatever sports are going (mainly soccer since it's the only one I can understand, haha.) Unfortunately I'm not great at sports requiring gracefulness and coordination but it's pretty important for me to be able to move around, as evidenced by my mood when I get injured for long periods of time, yech. Movement makes me happy.
In spite of the ups and downs of late, there's so much that I can miss in worrying or trying to get things down. It sure helps when I slow down and take time to smell the flowers. Literally. I don't know what kinds they are but they're as tall as me and they smell pretty :)
It's 30-something degrees and tonight is ultimate, oof, that's gonna be interesting! Maybe we'll win or get the game done really quickly, that would be nice.
Later, 'gators.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Wee update
It's been a busy few weeks, despite making concerted efforts at slowing down time and taking advantage of a bit of free time. It's filled up quickly, that's for sure.
These last two months (or three or four) probably hold a record-breaking number of changes, such as deciding to take further study (and all the ramifications of that), trying to make career and job decisions (including multiple job interviews) and even changing around the furniture in my apartment. They all add up, and there are days that I embrace the change and days that I dig my heels in and cross my arms and pout (like today).
Sigh.
I'm doing a lot of that lately, it feels like.
After hitting what seems to be just one more dead end at the end of a really exciting path (which confuses me every time), I'm trying to reevaluate and also not read too much into things. Just because things don't turn out a certain way doesn't mean something isn't "meant to be." Sometimes, yes; however, I'm slowly learning that to get where you want to go, you have to really work at it. It's not something separate from faith or only about faith in the sense that everything is or isn't a sign from God, I just mean that in the general sense, even though I feel God is guiding me in general to make certain career decisions over others, a lot of this is plain hard work.
Maybe I can explain this better (aka in a less yawn-inducing way) through a story I read just the other day. In the midst of madly cleaning my apartment, I picked up a short kid's novel that I'd bought at a used bookstore, and read it cover to cover. It was a nice break :) It's called The Midwife's Apprentice, by Catherine Cushman, and is about a young girl in medieval England who starts out at the bottom of society in the village, and in the end gains the skills and confidence to take her place in the community. It struck me at the ending that you really have to fight for what's important to you if you ever want it to come true; this rings true for me on the career decision front.
On a brighter note, I'm looking forward to seeing my family for a few days in August and going to a friend's wedding- that's my big holiday for the summer :) Anyone else have any vacation plans coming up?
These last two months (or three or four) probably hold a record-breaking number of changes, such as deciding to take further study (and all the ramifications of that), trying to make career and job decisions (including multiple job interviews) and even changing around the furniture in my apartment. They all add up, and there are days that I embrace the change and days that I dig my heels in and cross my arms and pout (like today).
Sigh.
I'm doing a lot of that lately, it feels like.
After hitting what seems to be just one more dead end at the end of a really exciting path (which confuses me every time), I'm trying to reevaluate and also not read too much into things. Just because things don't turn out a certain way doesn't mean something isn't "meant to be." Sometimes, yes; however, I'm slowly learning that to get where you want to go, you have to really work at it. It's not something separate from faith or only about faith in the sense that everything is or isn't a sign from God, I just mean that in the general sense, even though I feel God is guiding me in general to make certain career decisions over others, a lot of this is plain hard work.
Maybe I can explain this better (aka in a less yawn-inducing way) through a story I read just the other day. In the midst of madly cleaning my apartment, I picked up a short kid's novel that I'd bought at a used bookstore, and read it cover to cover. It was a nice break :) It's called The Midwife's Apprentice, by Catherine Cushman, and is about a young girl in medieval England who starts out at the bottom of society in the village, and in the end gains the skills and confidence to take her place in the community. It struck me at the ending that you really have to fight for what's important to you if you ever want it to come true; this rings true for me on the career decision front.
On a brighter note, I'm looking forward to seeing my family for a few days in August and going to a friend's wedding- that's my big holiday for the summer :) Anyone else have any vacation plans coming up?
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Blonde moment
Yesterday, on the bus, I had a moment that really made me feel dumb and a little too insular.
At a busy downtown stop, a lady got on, all distressed, looking for something. She left out the back door, saying how she had lost her script and her daughter was out of town.
That was all.
I couldn't make sense of this encounter at all at first, thinking she was working on some kind of script for a play or whatnot, and I was trying to connect that with the absence of her daughter. The first thing I thought was, that's so cool that she's working on a script. Then I realized she was talking about a misplaced prescription...oops.
Go figure, that's the kind of thing that happens to me all the time, I habitually assume the least likely option is the most likely option, to my own discredit, usually. It made me think that I need to get my head out of the clouds from time to time, and that if I were better connected with my community, I wouldn't have been confused by that. It's so much easier to not engage, sometimes. Less awkward and invasive to one's personal space. I could go on, but the point is, it's crucial to engage with those around me, whether or not I they are people I choose to have in my closer circles. I'm challenged by the church group I met with last night who is burdened for their community and actively seeks to keep being challenged by them and reach out to them and be a part of one another's lives, unashamedly.
Does anyone else have struggles to actively engage with others? You don't have to answer that, it's just something I keep coming back to in my own life.
Thanks for hearing me out :)
~Ciao~
At a busy downtown stop, a lady got on, all distressed, looking for something. She left out the back door, saying how she had lost her script and her daughter was out of town.
That was all.
I couldn't make sense of this encounter at all at first, thinking she was working on some kind of script for a play or whatnot, and I was trying to connect that with the absence of her daughter. The first thing I thought was, that's so cool that she's working on a script. Then I realized she was talking about a misplaced prescription...oops.
Go figure, that's the kind of thing that happens to me all the time, I habitually assume the least likely option is the most likely option, to my own discredit, usually. It made me think that I need to get my head out of the clouds from time to time, and that if I were better connected with my community, I wouldn't have been confused by that. It's so much easier to not engage, sometimes. Less awkward and invasive to one's personal space. I could go on, but the point is, it's crucial to engage with those around me, whether or not I they are people I choose to have in my closer circles. I'm challenged by the church group I met with last night who is burdened for their community and actively seeks to keep being challenged by them and reach out to them and be a part of one another's lives, unashamedly.
Does anyone else have struggles to actively engage with others? You don't have to answer that, it's just something I keep coming back to in my own life.
Thanks for hearing me out :)
~Ciao~
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Surmising
That's my new favourite word, as of yesterday. It suddenly came to mind and that made me feel smart, haha. From time to time I do like to make lists of my favourite words- another tidbit I'm sure you all were dying to know.
Words make me happy, you know? The sound, the shape, the crunch of them. Today, the first customer I spoke to is from a town that is one of my favourite words, Mascouche, so that made me smile. Seriously, say that five times in a row, it's irresistible. I dare you ;)
On that note, I've been reading everything by Miriam Toews recently that I can get my hands on. So far I've read A Complicated Kindness, The Flying Troutmans, and, just this weekend, Irma Voth, the newest one. I don't know what it is, but the way she writes is just so profound. It draws me in and makes me sad, and I don't usually get drawn to the sad books, but I can't help myself with these ones. It's like I'm taken into the story and get completely wrapped up in the characters and their lives and longings, and they're remarkably poignant in the way they speak and think. It's like every other sentence, hidden in prose, is a sad, sad poem of futility and hope, all wrapped up in the mind of a Mennonite girl doing the best she can with what she's got. So much of it is so beautiful that it hurts.
Has anyone read any of her work?
I almost didn't want to finish Irma Voth because it was getting really sad, but I knew I had to see the end, and I'm glad I did. (Let's be honest, I wasn't really going to not finish it.) It's one I would highly highly recommend. Can I say how thankful I am for the public library?
Haha, I should review books for a living (not) :)
I hope you all had a wonderful Canada Day weekend!
Words make me happy, you know? The sound, the shape, the crunch of them. Today, the first customer I spoke to is from a town that is one of my favourite words, Mascouche, so that made me smile. Seriously, say that five times in a row, it's irresistible. I dare you ;)
On that note, I've been reading everything by Miriam Toews recently that I can get my hands on. So far I've read A Complicated Kindness, The Flying Troutmans, and, just this weekend, Irma Voth, the newest one. I don't know what it is, but the way she writes is just so profound. It draws me in and makes me sad, and I don't usually get drawn to the sad books, but I can't help myself with these ones. It's like I'm taken into the story and get completely wrapped up in the characters and their lives and longings, and they're remarkably poignant in the way they speak and think. It's like every other sentence, hidden in prose, is a sad, sad poem of futility and hope, all wrapped up in the mind of a Mennonite girl doing the best she can with what she's got. So much of it is so beautiful that it hurts.
Has anyone read any of her work?
I almost didn't want to finish Irma Voth because it was getting really sad, but I knew I had to see the end, and I'm glad I did. (Let's be honest, I wasn't really going to not finish it.) It's one I would highly highly recommend. Can I say how thankful I am for the public library?
Haha, I should review books for a living (not) :)
I hope you all had a wonderful Canada Day weekend!
Friday, July 1, 2011
A wedding and one of my favourite things
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| Megan, resplendent in red |
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| So happy to celebrate with friends |
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| Zach and Lisa entering the reception |
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| The lovely Laura, back from her world travels |
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| What would a wedding be if I didn't take a photo of the dessert? hehe. Crepes of French vanilla ice cream drizzled with chocolate, and a berry sauce. |
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| The table centerpieces |
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| Together at last ;) The four of us reunited. It did our hearts good:) |
So here you have it, raspberry and chocolate macarons. And an owl, of course, made by the highly talented Missy Dueck.
Happy Canada Day, too! I hope you enjoy in whatever way you're celebrating today. I meant to post this yesterday, not as a Canada Day post, but my computer wouldn't cooperate, so here we are.
Nos vemos!
Monday, June 27, 2011
Bittersweet
I'm eating blueberries right now and it is one of my favourite things about this time of year. I guess technically they're not in season anymore but I am trying to eat more seasonally with my produce in general. It's tough because I love to have berries all summer long and they're not all in season all summer long, oh well. They sure are tasty.
This past weekend, I had the pleasure of attending the wedding of my dear friend Lisa to Zach. He's a good guy and she's one in a million so it was wonderful to share in their day and get to see some acquaintances in the family and friends. I had Friday off, and my friend Megan and I took the Greyhound to the city where the wedding was held, and got to have a good visit together, and our friend Laura met up with us there, we three shared a hotel room. We hadn't all been together since early May, so it was lovely to catch up. The three of us plus Lisa have been getting together for pre-church breakfasts for the last few years and got closer through leading/participating in a small group together. I'm so happy for Zach & Lisa, and the wedding was absolutely beautiful, but it's sad too because they're living overseas in the fall, Megan's going to Alberta for school, and Laura moved to Ottawa, so it's just me still here once fall rolls around. I can't be too sad, though, because these are the friendships forged through some pretty significant events of life, and I'm so thankful for them. I hope we're able to keep in touch and visit and stay close, even if it's not the same. Sigh.
Photos soon to come, of the wedding...
Saturday, my roommate and friends had book club and that was a lot of fun, then Sunday I had three soccer games in the afternoon, with biking to and fro and between games. I'm sore from head to toe now, especially after bashing the back of the head on the dryer door too (don't ask me how I managed that one). Luckily, our team captain had us to her house between games and she has a pool :) It was just the thing. I got one goal, which isn't too bad since I'm usually not that great a shot for being a forward, haha. My team puts up with me because I can run fast up the wing even if I don't get that ball in the net too often ;)
So far, I haven't heard about the job interview and haven't fully made a decision in regards to studies sooo I guess you'll have to be in suspense along with me, sorry :)
My friend's brother opened a Parisien pastry shop and crêperie, and it's opening today, so I'm going to pop by after work, I've been anxiously awaiting this:) We'll see what kind of treats they sell, pretty sure I'll have to save up a while to buy anything and bike a lot to work it off, just kidding.
Next up, I have to figure out what to do for my birthday in a week and a half. I was thinking of seeing a play in Stratford but I did that last year and want to think of something different and inexpensive. Well, I do have slightly expensive taste but not the means to match it :) I'm thinking of rounding up a bunch of friends even if they don't know each other, and having a picnic in the park, what do you think? Or maybe go for drinks on a patio somewhere but they're often so loud, and I am getting one year older (and crankier), hahah.
Well, I guess I don't have as much to say as I thought, but I'll keep you posted!
~Adios!~
This past weekend, I had the pleasure of attending the wedding of my dear friend Lisa to Zach. He's a good guy and she's one in a million so it was wonderful to share in their day and get to see some acquaintances in the family and friends. I had Friday off, and my friend Megan and I took the Greyhound to the city where the wedding was held, and got to have a good visit together, and our friend Laura met up with us there, we three shared a hotel room. We hadn't all been together since early May, so it was lovely to catch up. The three of us plus Lisa have been getting together for pre-church breakfasts for the last few years and got closer through leading/participating in a small group together. I'm so happy for Zach & Lisa, and the wedding was absolutely beautiful, but it's sad too because they're living overseas in the fall, Megan's going to Alberta for school, and Laura moved to Ottawa, so it's just me still here once fall rolls around. I can't be too sad, though, because these are the friendships forged through some pretty significant events of life, and I'm so thankful for them. I hope we're able to keep in touch and visit and stay close, even if it's not the same. Sigh.
Photos soon to come, of the wedding...
Saturday, my roommate and friends had book club and that was a lot of fun, then Sunday I had three soccer games in the afternoon, with biking to and fro and between games. I'm sore from head to toe now, especially after bashing the back of the head on the dryer door too (don't ask me how I managed that one). Luckily, our team captain had us to her house between games and she has a pool :) It was just the thing. I got one goal, which isn't too bad since I'm usually not that great a shot for being a forward, haha. My team puts up with me because I can run fast up the wing even if I don't get that ball in the net too often ;)
So far, I haven't heard about the job interview and haven't fully made a decision in regards to studies sooo I guess you'll have to be in suspense along with me, sorry :)
My friend's brother opened a Parisien pastry shop and crêperie, and it's opening today, so I'm going to pop by after work, I've been anxiously awaiting this:) We'll see what kind of treats they sell, pretty sure I'll have to save up a while to buy anything and bike a lot to work it off, just kidding.
Next up, I have to figure out what to do for my birthday in a week and a half. I was thinking of seeing a play in Stratford but I did that last year and want to think of something different and inexpensive. Well, I do have slightly expensive taste but not the means to match it :) I'm thinking of rounding up a bunch of friends even if they don't know each other, and having a picnic in the park, what do you think? Or maybe go for drinks on a patio somewhere but they're often so loud, and I am getting one year older (and crankier), hahah.
Well, I guess I don't have as much to say as I thought, but I'll keep you posted!
~Adios!~
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Choices
Choices. They're what sets us apart from each other. They set us on one path instead of another. They bring out the intrinsic differences between human beings.
The other day, while stewing about the myriad of decisions I need to make right away, each of them affecting the other in ways I can't reverse. Being rather indecisive, I have a tendency to want to keep my options open, and this is not a conducive trait to making the big decisions with confidence.
However, in the midst of getting caught in the cycle of worrying that I'm going to ruin my life in three easy steps, it struck me that even one of these choices is a tremendous privilege. Things like what kind of job to have, what to study, where to live and with whom- how many people, by their circumstances, have very little choice in their own lives? How many women across the world have a limited (if any) access to education of any kind, and here I am complaining about how difficult it is to choose between all of the options before me?
Suffice it to say, I've been feeling humbled ever since, and that thought has stayed with me. I love reading and literacy and languages, and take the gift of literacy for granted every single day. It's something so minor in our culture, it's expected in "civilized" circles, if we can even use such a word in self-depracation, and yet it can be the difference between poverty and opportunity, to state it in a basic way.
So, as I attempt to hurdle what insists be addressed, I will choose to view this stage of life and these few weeks with gratitude, and try to remember that one decision, while having its effects, does not necessarily sway the balance in terms of the rest of my life. Well, as I say that, I'm aware that just one detail has the potential to do just that, but as far as is in my means, my job is to rely on God with this and forge on ahead rather than run away to live in a cave somewhere.
It's funny how everything seems to be linked in some way and I just want to figure it all out right this second, but life rarely works out that way, does it? I have an idea of the end goal, but it will be interesting how exactly to get there.
Just wanted to share what's been on my mind! Thanks for your support, my friends:)
The other day, while stewing about the myriad of decisions I need to make right away, each of them affecting the other in ways I can't reverse. Being rather indecisive, I have a tendency to want to keep my options open, and this is not a conducive trait to making the big decisions with confidence.
However, in the midst of getting caught in the cycle of worrying that I'm going to ruin my life in three easy steps, it struck me that even one of these choices is a tremendous privilege. Things like what kind of job to have, what to study, where to live and with whom- how many people, by their circumstances, have very little choice in their own lives? How many women across the world have a limited (if any) access to education of any kind, and here I am complaining about how difficult it is to choose between all of the options before me?
Suffice it to say, I've been feeling humbled ever since, and that thought has stayed with me. I love reading and literacy and languages, and take the gift of literacy for granted every single day. It's something so minor in our culture, it's expected in "civilized" circles, if we can even use such a word in self-depracation, and yet it can be the difference between poverty and opportunity, to state it in a basic way.
So, as I attempt to hurdle what insists be addressed, I will choose to view this stage of life and these few weeks with gratitude, and try to remember that one decision, while having its effects, does not necessarily sway the balance in terms of the rest of my life. Well, as I say that, I'm aware that just one detail has the potential to do just that, but as far as is in my means, my job is to rely on God with this and forge on ahead rather than run away to live in a cave somewhere.
It's funny how everything seems to be linked in some way and I just want to figure it all out right this second, but life rarely works out that way, does it? I have an idea of the end goal, but it will be interesting how exactly to get there.
Just wanted to share what's been on my mind! Thanks for your support, my friends:)
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Photo post!
Liz and I at a state park near their house
Meet Ralph! Poodle pup extraordinaire! :)
Liz and Jeremy redid this wall, it used to be pink brick and looks great now- if you look closely you can see hard work and sweat and blood and tears etched in, heheh
Vegetarian shepherd's pie made with lots of kale and horseradish, and the requisite sweet tea
Jeremy's '68 Mustang, I couldn't resist getting a photo with it
A classic "birthday-Liz" expression:)
Looking cheesy at dinner
Awwww :) Liz and Jeremy
I know it's not a good photo but I love this one, for the laughter
Now looking over-exposed- darn camera, can't win
Goodbye at the airport :( We were actually really bummed but tried to look cheerful.
Not related to my trip at all, but I couldn't pass up these fiddleheads at the market and man, were they tasty
Thanks for stopping by, feel free to comment:) Ciao.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
C'est la vie...
What a mixed-up few weeks it's been. I'm not as stressed as I imagined I would be by now, so that is definitely something to be thankful for! I feel as though I ought to be a bit more worried about all the things that are up in the air, but there's no use barking up that tree for very long :)
Two weeks ago - has it been that long? - I flew to visit Liz Jeremy in Ohhhhh-kla-ho-ma! Haha. It's funny how you don't realize how much you miss someone until you see them again then have to leave. Darn it. Mind you, it's much easier to be the one leaving than the one left, don't you find? Liz and I were a couple of dweebs in the airport when she dropped me off to go, saying goodbye a whole bunch of times and of course I insisted on a few extra hugs :) We had a lovely visit, and I'll post photos; be warned, though, I didn't really see the sights or anything, it's mostly Liz, the puppy, and food ;) Not atypical of my subject matter. My camera is not that great so it's the excuse I fall back on, although it's kind of a weak one.
We had some great chats, food, laughs, you know, the normal sister stuff. Lucky for me, Liz is back on coffee and theirs was great:) It helps having fancy appliances that people get you for your wedding, heheh ;) Just kidding, Liz. I bonded more with my brother-in-law, Jeremy, now that I get his sense of humour- I think we both didn't quite get each other at the start but I sure like him, he's a keeper. It was cool to see them in their house, a bit more settled and in their own space. Hopefully we'll see them in Canada for a visit soon!
Soccer season has finally started here, and, to make up for all the lost playing time, the league decided to smush a bunch of games together the first few weekends. Since I'm playing on two different teams to begin with, this has meant one game on Friday and three on Sunday, last week and this week, plus once-a-week ultimate games. If you add on to that the fact that I biked to many of those games and to work, it's a lot in a short time and I am realizing that I'm not fifteen anymore. Or, for that matter, twenty...you get the idea ;) Biking home between games today, it occurred to me that working out this much is a surefire way either to get in shape really fast, or to die trying, or to injure yourself really nicely in the attempt. Or some combination of those things, hahah. Oh boy. I choose to believe I'm getting into killer shape. Yesterday I had also a 5k for a friend's sister-in-law, which was rather grueling, and I also biked there and back. Oy.
Okay, enough about me whining about physical activity ;) I'm truly grateful to have the ability to bike where I need to go, and to participate in so many sports activities. Without those, I'd need some major outlets to blow off steam, probably. Not that I'm an angry person, but it's a good way to use energy, wouldn't you say?
So. This is turning out to be what I hope will be a week of answers. I have a job interview coming up- nervous!- and this would take me in one direction. I'm also hoping to find out some concrete information about education, as it's getting down to crunch time and I need to know a few things before I can make all the other subsequent decisions that hinge upon it. Ha! Probably I needed high blood pressure at this time, heheh. Anyways, much of it is out of my hands but that won't keep me from pounding at those doors until I know what to expect. Those folks are going to love hearing from me, the squeaky wheel.
I'll keep you posted on all that!
The writing is going rather haltingly, when it's happening at all...I seem to be suffering from tremendous writer's block and feelings of intimidation when faced with all the terrific writers and writings out there. I ought to be inspired, not downtrodden...it will pick up, but there's no formula to it, I'm finding; no magical way of setting the stage so the story will present itself. It's different every time. I'm supposed to submit some pages to my writing mentor and I'm cringing at the thought, as to what she will think, but that shouldn't deter me. And it won't, ultimately. I just have to wrestle the "no" monster (whatever that means...is that an expression?).
Recently, I was inspired to do some sorting and cleaning and such, and, as a treat, organized all the books in my bookshelf. Yes, I know, I'm a nerd, that sort of thing is really exciting to me ;) It's now in non-fiction, adult fiction, children/young adult fiction (novels) and picture books. You've no idea how satisfying it is for me to survey this wonderful shelf and I just feel like having people over and showing them each title. Aren't you glad most of you that read this live far away ;)
Next, I will be cataloguing them somehow, which I'm greatly looking forward to. I'm going to try to note down where each book came from, because with each one, there is a story, and that's half the charm, I find.
Does anyone else have these odd kind of habits they enjoy? If so, please do share, so we can revel in our oddities together ;)
I'd love love love to go camping this summer, but it seems you have to plan these things ahead and I have no such plans as of yet. That will have to change, evidently ;) Summer is for camping, it's as simple as that. It must happen at least once, even if I have to pitch a tent in my parents' backyard like when were were kids, although hopefully it doesn't come to that.
In other news, I'm off to have an epsom salt bath to soak my aching body. Second one in two days, I swear by them.
Photos to follow! Once my camera batteries charge! Alert the masses!
~Cheerio~
Two weeks ago - has it been that long? - I flew to visit Liz Jeremy in Ohhhhh-kla-ho-ma! Haha. It's funny how you don't realize how much you miss someone until you see them again then have to leave. Darn it. Mind you, it's much easier to be the one leaving than the one left, don't you find? Liz and I were a couple of dweebs in the airport when she dropped me off to go, saying goodbye a whole bunch of times and of course I insisted on a few extra hugs :) We had a lovely visit, and I'll post photos; be warned, though, I didn't really see the sights or anything, it's mostly Liz, the puppy, and food ;) Not atypical of my subject matter. My camera is not that great so it's the excuse I fall back on, although it's kind of a weak one.
We had some great chats, food, laughs, you know, the normal sister stuff. Lucky for me, Liz is back on coffee and theirs was great:) It helps having fancy appliances that people get you for your wedding, heheh ;) Just kidding, Liz. I bonded more with my brother-in-law, Jeremy, now that I get his sense of humour- I think we both didn't quite get each other at the start but I sure like him, he's a keeper. It was cool to see them in their house, a bit more settled and in their own space. Hopefully we'll see them in Canada for a visit soon!
Soccer season has finally started here, and, to make up for all the lost playing time, the league decided to smush a bunch of games together the first few weekends. Since I'm playing on two different teams to begin with, this has meant one game on Friday and three on Sunday, last week and this week, plus once-a-week ultimate games. If you add on to that the fact that I biked to many of those games and to work, it's a lot in a short time and I am realizing that I'm not fifteen anymore. Or, for that matter, twenty...you get the idea ;) Biking home between games today, it occurred to me that working out this much is a surefire way either to get in shape really fast, or to die trying, or to injure yourself really nicely in the attempt. Or some combination of those things, hahah. Oh boy. I choose to believe I'm getting into killer shape. Yesterday I had also a 5k for a friend's sister-in-law, which was rather grueling, and I also biked there and back. Oy.
Okay, enough about me whining about physical activity ;) I'm truly grateful to have the ability to bike where I need to go, and to participate in so many sports activities. Without those, I'd need some major outlets to blow off steam, probably. Not that I'm an angry person, but it's a good way to use energy, wouldn't you say?
So. This is turning out to be what I hope will be a week of answers. I have a job interview coming up- nervous!- and this would take me in one direction. I'm also hoping to find out some concrete information about education, as it's getting down to crunch time and I need to know a few things before I can make all the other subsequent decisions that hinge upon it. Ha! Probably I needed high blood pressure at this time, heheh. Anyways, much of it is out of my hands but that won't keep me from pounding at those doors until I know what to expect. Those folks are going to love hearing from me, the squeaky wheel.
I'll keep you posted on all that!
The writing is going rather haltingly, when it's happening at all...I seem to be suffering from tremendous writer's block and feelings of intimidation when faced with all the terrific writers and writings out there. I ought to be inspired, not downtrodden...it will pick up, but there's no formula to it, I'm finding; no magical way of setting the stage so the story will present itself. It's different every time. I'm supposed to submit some pages to my writing mentor and I'm cringing at the thought, as to what she will think, but that shouldn't deter me. And it won't, ultimately. I just have to wrestle the "no" monster (whatever that means...is that an expression?).
Recently, I was inspired to do some sorting and cleaning and such, and, as a treat, organized all the books in my bookshelf. Yes, I know, I'm a nerd, that sort of thing is really exciting to me ;) It's now in non-fiction, adult fiction, children/young adult fiction (novels) and picture books. You've no idea how satisfying it is for me to survey this wonderful shelf and I just feel like having people over and showing them each title. Aren't you glad most of you that read this live far away ;)
Next, I will be cataloguing them somehow, which I'm greatly looking forward to. I'm going to try to note down where each book came from, because with each one, there is a story, and that's half the charm, I find.
Does anyone else have these odd kind of habits they enjoy? If so, please do share, so we can revel in our oddities together ;)
I'd love love love to go camping this summer, but it seems you have to plan these things ahead and I have no such plans as of yet. That will have to change, evidently ;) Summer is for camping, it's as simple as that. It must happen at least once, even if I have to pitch a tent in my parents' backyard like when were were kids, although hopefully it doesn't come to that.
In other news, I'm off to have an epsom salt bath to soak my aching body. Second one in two days, I swear by them.
Photos to follow! Once my camera batteries charge! Alert the masses!
~Cheerio~
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
tra la la
...I didn't know what to title my post today :)
It's been a crazy couple of weeks again. On Friday and Saturday I went to the visitation and celebration of life for the dad of two of my friends, they're a family from my church. It was moving to hear how profoundly he touched so many lives and what a wonderful dad and husband he was, but it breaks my heart that these girls don't have their dad anymore. I can't seem to get past that. I think that must be so difficult at any age.
There's been a lot of last-minute communication with different schools- now I just wait to see where I get in, and what kind of transfer credit they can give me- yikes! I'm nervous to go back to school, as I have a hard time scheduling my time as it is, let alone when it comes to making studying a priority, but I need to get good marks if I want to apply for a master's after, so hopefully that will keep me going. That said, I have caught the travel bug really strongly, probably because it's not an option for me at the moment, haha. That's okay, at the end of the month I'm hoping to visit Liz in Oklahoma, which will be an adventure in itself, I'm sure. I'm looking forward to seeing her, since I haven't seen her since the wedding in December, briefly, and before that, since September when she moved.
After that, I need to save all my pennies for studies :)
My little brother Ben is planning to move here in the fall to attend college, he's accepted into a one-year program related to aviation that he's really excited about. It's hard to believe he's old enough to be on his own, although he has been for a couple years, hehe. Plus my little sister is looking into universities, and is graduating this year...how did these kids grow up so fast? I know that's what people tend to say about their kids, not their sibs, but I guess since I'm only home a few times a year, I can see the changes more drastically.
That reminds me- I still have to post photos from Easter...
Spring is finally here, and with it, warm winds and sunshine, and it's incredible what a difference that makes. I think it's the smell in the air that does it, you know?
Does anyone have plans for Victoria Day (if you have that holiday)?
It's been a crazy couple of weeks again. On Friday and Saturday I went to the visitation and celebration of life for the dad of two of my friends, they're a family from my church. It was moving to hear how profoundly he touched so many lives and what a wonderful dad and husband he was, but it breaks my heart that these girls don't have their dad anymore. I can't seem to get past that. I think that must be so difficult at any age.
There's been a lot of last-minute communication with different schools- now I just wait to see where I get in, and what kind of transfer credit they can give me- yikes! I'm nervous to go back to school, as I have a hard time scheduling my time as it is, let alone when it comes to making studying a priority, but I need to get good marks if I want to apply for a master's after, so hopefully that will keep me going. That said, I have caught the travel bug really strongly, probably because it's not an option for me at the moment, haha. That's okay, at the end of the month I'm hoping to visit Liz in Oklahoma, which will be an adventure in itself, I'm sure. I'm looking forward to seeing her, since I haven't seen her since the wedding in December, briefly, and before that, since September when she moved.
After that, I need to save all my pennies for studies :)
My little brother Ben is planning to move here in the fall to attend college, he's accepted into a one-year program related to aviation that he's really excited about. It's hard to believe he's old enough to be on his own, although he has been for a couple years, hehe. Plus my little sister is looking into universities, and is graduating this year...how did these kids grow up so fast? I know that's what people tend to say about their kids, not their sibs, but I guess since I'm only home a few times a year, I can see the changes more drastically.
That reminds me- I still have to post photos from Easter...
Spring is finally here, and with it, warm winds and sunshine, and it's incredible what a difference that makes. I think it's the smell in the air that does it, you know?
Does anyone have plans for Victoria Day (if you have that holiday)?
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
What do you think?
Hey, do you like my new blog layout? It's long overdue and I've been enjoying how other people have revamped their blogs, so it was time :)
Tonight, I'm hoping to attend a workshop at the library about urban agriculture and growing gardens in the city so you can grow food for your family. I'm excited for it because it will show how even in the city you can use the space you have to grow food, and one of my goals this year is a) actually grow something edible, b) keep said thing alive, and c) eat or prepare the something. I'm thinking herbs are the least ambitious, but hopefully I'll get some ideas tonight.
My hairdresser told me it's the thing right now to eat avocado for your hair, so I thought, why not, and bought an organic one at the market last time I went. It went mushy really fast but I spread it on some rye bread to make a sandwich for my lunch, with brie, so we'll see how it goes, I'm a little leery as to how those two will go together. I have my side of edamame that I like having at work, yum. My coworker across from me emailed me some vegetarian recipes, including chocolate quinoa crepes, and they look really good. I need more motivation to cook things, and I'm not a very good vegetarian because I don't eat enough beans, grains, etc.
Just now, I signed up for a 10k race on May 1st, which should be interesting since I've been sick for a while and haven't been training at all. I was going to drop down to a 5k but since I'm not signed up for any other races this spring, I think I'll stick with it. It feels weird, usually I do 1-2 half-marathons in the spring, but not this time. Oh well. It will probably be my last race before my birthday- for some reason I always notice that on the registration because it asks how old you are on race day.
I guess that's enough rambling for now. When I'm home, I'm hoping to hit up the local library since they keep getting rid of books when they're not read after one year, and I'm sure I'm missing out on so many good ones, and there's not much I can do about it other than buy the ones I can when I am visiting:) Yes, I know, I'm such a nerd...they're usually kids' books, too...I really need to get more adult fiction for my bookshelf, heheh.
Happy Easter, everyone! Thanks for reading! ...xo...
Tonight, I'm hoping to attend a workshop at the library about urban agriculture and growing gardens in the city so you can grow food for your family. I'm excited for it because it will show how even in the city you can use the space you have to grow food, and one of my goals this year is a) actually grow something edible, b) keep said thing alive, and c) eat or prepare the something. I'm thinking herbs are the least ambitious, but hopefully I'll get some ideas tonight.
My hairdresser told me it's the thing right now to eat avocado for your hair, so I thought, why not, and bought an organic one at the market last time I went. It went mushy really fast but I spread it on some rye bread to make a sandwich for my lunch, with brie, so we'll see how it goes, I'm a little leery as to how those two will go together. I have my side of edamame that I like having at work, yum. My coworker across from me emailed me some vegetarian recipes, including chocolate quinoa crepes, and they look really good. I need more motivation to cook things, and I'm not a very good vegetarian because I don't eat enough beans, grains, etc.
Just now, I signed up for a 10k race on May 1st, which should be interesting since I've been sick for a while and haven't been training at all. I was going to drop down to a 5k but since I'm not signed up for any other races this spring, I think I'll stick with it. It feels weird, usually I do 1-2 half-marathons in the spring, but not this time. Oh well. It will probably be my last race before my birthday- for some reason I always notice that on the registration because it asks how old you are on race day.
I guess that's enough rambling for now. When I'm home, I'm hoping to hit up the local library since they keep getting rid of books when they're not read after one year, and I'm sure I'm missing out on so many good ones, and there's not much I can do about it other than buy the ones I can when I am visiting:) Yes, I know, I'm such a nerd...they're usually kids' books, too...I really need to get more adult fiction for my bookshelf, heheh.
Happy Easter, everyone! Thanks for reading! ...xo...
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Kind of fitting for just before Easter
It's been quite a few weeks. Just when I'm trying to sort out work/school details, life keeps happening...a memorial service/celebration of life, baby shower, poetry workshops, two fundraiser events (MS Walk and CN Tower climb), and I've had a lingering cough on top of everything. There hasn't really been much time or motivation to write...and I don't even have kids or anything...how do people do it?
I need to intentionally scale back some of my social stuff- it's not like I'm tremendously popular but I like to attend different events or activities and have a hard time saying no, and that doesn't tend to go well with studying lots, I hear:)
The lady in my church who died, whose celebration of life I attended on the weekend- it's hard to believe she's gone. I don't think I grieve well, if such a thing is possible- I tend to regress to five-year-old capacity and have a hard time absorbing loss, even if I'm not close to them. I have a number of close friends who have experienced significant loss close to them, and it's not something I can fathom. I don't know what I'd do, and I don't want to think of the possibility. See what I mean about acting like I'm five?
One thing I've noticed is that coming into contact with death makes me want to go visit my family more often, spend time with them, not miss out on anything I'd regret. It's that urge to hold them tighter as if to keep them safe. It's a big part of why I'm seeing my family at Easter, admittedly.
I came across a poem a number of years ago, in Patricia Maclachlan's book, Baby, which pretty much sums up my reaction to death, or expresses it the way I can't. I've returned to it several times because it's so honest, and I'd like to share it here:
Dirge Without Music
Edna St. Vincent Millay
I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.
So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind:
Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned
With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned.
Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.
Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust.
A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew,
A formula, a phrase remains - but the best is lost.
The answers quick and keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love,
They are gone. They have gone to feed the roses. Elegant and curled
Is the blossom. Fragrant is the blossom. I know. But I do not approve.
More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world.
Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.
I don't mean that to be depressing, but rather an affirmation of life with all its joys and small moments of beauty. You should read it in context (borrowed, albeit) in Baby; it's a poignant tale told beautifully by one of my favourite authors.
Wishing you a warm rest of the week (come on, Spring!) and a happy Easter with loved ones.
xo.
I need to intentionally scale back some of my social stuff- it's not like I'm tremendously popular but I like to attend different events or activities and have a hard time saying no, and that doesn't tend to go well with studying lots, I hear:)
The lady in my church who died, whose celebration of life I attended on the weekend- it's hard to believe she's gone. I don't think I grieve well, if such a thing is possible- I tend to regress to five-year-old capacity and have a hard time absorbing loss, even if I'm not close to them. I have a number of close friends who have experienced significant loss close to them, and it's not something I can fathom. I don't know what I'd do, and I don't want to think of the possibility. See what I mean about acting like I'm five?
One thing I've noticed is that coming into contact with death makes me want to go visit my family more often, spend time with them, not miss out on anything I'd regret. It's that urge to hold them tighter as if to keep them safe. It's a big part of why I'm seeing my family at Easter, admittedly.
I came across a poem a number of years ago, in Patricia Maclachlan's book, Baby, which pretty much sums up my reaction to death, or expresses it the way I can't. I've returned to it several times because it's so honest, and I'd like to share it here:
Dirge Without Music
Edna St. Vincent Millay
I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.
So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind:
Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned
With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned.
Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.
Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust.
A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew,
A formula, a phrase remains - but the best is lost.
The answers quick and keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love,
They are gone. They have gone to feed the roses. Elegant and curled
Is the blossom. Fragrant is the blossom. I know. But I do not approve.
More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world.
Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.
I don't mean that to be depressing, but rather an affirmation of life with all its joys and small moments of beauty. You should read it in context (borrowed, albeit) in Baby; it's a poignant tale told beautifully by one of my favourite authors.
Wishing you a warm rest of the week (come on, Spring!) and a happy Easter with loved ones.
xo.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Some fall photos- LOLA fest and a race
One of many art exhibits, this was hung over the main stage during LOLA, and I couldn't get over the beauty of it; it changed the whole look of the park.
Do you like how you can see the cathedral and high-rises in the background? The shows usually had a better turnout, but the weather was rainy on and off. I was volunteering part of the time so didn't get that many snapshots, unfortunately.
One of my favourites, Leaf Bird, from Chicago. It was their first time playing outside of Chicago, and they had a laid-back, folksy feel. I'm glad I happened to catch this.
This one is a little bittersweet- Liz's shiny bronze cowboy boots she got at a thrift store, next to her pile of baggage, the day before she moved to the States :(
Lisa and I just after her first half-marathon, in Toronto, last September. She rocked that race, and I did pretty well too- all in all, lots of fun.Phew! Now that I've overloaded you with photos, maybe it's okay if I post a few without ;) Still, I'd like to get better at photography, so that could motivate me to take more photos. That, and the fact that it's finally SPRING!!
Later!
Catching up with some photos
Leyla & Ben with Jenny and me on the stairs on the way up to a lookout in Montreal. We were getting together, the three girls, to hang out before Liz's wedding and maybe find a dress- none of us did, but it was so great to spend time with each other again.
The cross at Mont-Royal, I think
Sandbanks Provincial Park with my high school friends, our once-or-twice-a-year hangout weekend in which we gallivanted about on the dunes, toured some wineries in Prince Edward County (a fantastic wine region), and played board games:)
Jenny came to visit last week, and I had a couple days off from work to see her before her second Africa trip. We found two spots to hike right by London, which, I regret to say, I had never yet been to! It was just the ticket, slogging through snow, being in nature, ahhh :)
These holes in the snow were crusted over with ice- looks cool eh?
Jenny and me, squinting in the bright, yet overcast, light
These are a little out of order since I can't move them around- our lovely mid-March snowstorm. Pretty, but we were so ready for spring already!
I've got a few from fall yet to post...
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