Ho hum

Today, I feel a looming sense of agitation. I wish I could say why.

In the last couple of days, I have been working through a couple of things that really amount to a bit of stupidity on my part, and having to realize you've been acting pretty silly is not a pleasant experience for anyone, I would think. Ah well, these things are necessary, are they not?

To truly appreciate life and what it brings, you need to have a clear head and be able to discern and sort through the barrage of images and ideas we're wading through every day, and since my head is in the clouds a good part of the time, this can present a challenge; mainly, in the form of needing to give my head a shake from time to time.

I guess what I am realizing is that if I'm left alone for too long I go a little batty...heheh. I swear I'm going to end up as the eccentric aunt figure at every social function, who is a little bit off! Aahhh, I can see it all now, nooo! Maybe there's some way to evade the inevitable. I'll keep you posted:)

I won't bore you any further with my asinine observations! haha!

Another poem

I've been thinking of posting a poem here from time to time.

Here's one I wrote on April 21st, after attending a poetry reading with my cousin:

In lassitude, I'm worn
Frayed like so much tattered thread
As fragmented, enmeshed as a mass of yo-yo strings,
Separated from their shifty hubs

I'm beckoned, yet I resist the pull,
So strong it is, as the original course of a river
Must violently call her sister back to her mother-bed
Here roars such certainty

Pillowed in moss, festooned in stringy garlands,
Some forest king's best captive, willing, crustily unsavoury
Last week's rank argumetns unshed from heavy pockets
A silvered moon hangs, silently, aware.

...it's just a draft, but feel free to let me know what you think of it.

Enjoy your week!

Happy World Fair-Trade Day

After my last post, I'm not sure if anyone still wants to sit through another such long-winded episode, so I will keep it succinct this time!

Today, we are experiencing gale-force winds, and I'm perusing some local indie musicians online, drinking deliciously bold fair-trade coffee and thinking about pastries, or rather, macarons (surprise, surprise!). I think I have found a bakery in Toronto that sells good ones and I'm dying to check it out. P'raps soon.

This weather really is conducive to staying in and writing, or doodling, or something along those lines. I'm thinking of venturing out to the Ten Thousand Villages nearby because they're having a special event for world fair-trade day, which I found about when I was in there the other day, puttering about downtown. I came home with coffee beans, cheese curds, snack for bible study (all from the market), and chocolate and a paperweight from this store. I've been eyeing the paperweight for probably 7 years and I've now finally bought one:)

Well, I'm off, hoping I don't get smacked into the side of a building by this wind! haha.

Chocolate Stetsons and Blizzards

The last stop on my trip was Calgary. I enjoyed a relaxing Greyhound ride from Edmonton, and even wrote a little more of my story on the way, which was heartening. My friend Rebecca met me at the depot and we headed to a potluck she had organized for some other med students, and despite not being a part of that world, I enjoyed the interaction with her fellow students. We were able to have some wonderful discussions in the next few days, which mutually encouraged us as well.

On the following day, Rebecca had planned a hike up to Ribbon Creek Falls (by Kananaskis), and I was more than happy to be included in that. She had invited some other friends, and before heading up the trail, we had a picnic lunch at a table near the parking lot. We were mostly through our meal when a blizzard came up out of nowhere, and we sat huddled under blankets before deciding to wait it out in our cars.

After about fifteen minutes, the storm died down and we decided to proceed- not the easiest thing, considering it involved navigating a stroller over the now ankle-deep drifts across the path. However, we braved the trail and enjoyed the hike with these friends before they decided to head back to the city.
Undaunted, Rebecca and I continued in hopes of reaching the falls, but the trailblazers before us had not made it the whole way and we decided not to eke out our own path for several more kilometres before having to turn around. I can't describe the feeling of coming around a bend and finding ourselves surrounded by mountain on nearly all sides, or the clouds covering the mountains, then clearing to reveal their awesome heights. It was truly magnificent to be a part of all of this.
Rebecca is an amazing listener and asks all the right questions, including the ones that can make you squirm, but make you really think about what you are saying. This resulted in some very honest conversations, and there's nothing like hiking through snow for 14+ km to give you time to talk- it was wonderful. We were blissfully exhausted that night, but not so blissfully ready to wake up early for church. She had friends that were visiting from Africa and we visited the church where they would be that day, a small, closely-knit cowboy church. I hadn't been to one for a long time, since last time I was in Alberta, I believe, so it felt familiar in some ways but quite unlike the city church I'm now used to.

I had the good fortune to visit my cousins who live in Calgary, and was treated to my cousin's delectable cooking. More great conversation ensued, including going through an album of their trip to Germany. My cousin was borrowing his friend's car, so I was driven in an Audi RS4, and it was a pret-ty sweet ride, I have to say:) I'm blessed to be in touch with them and be able to visit from time to time, and they are so generous to have me over when I am around.

Rebecca and I went out for breakfast the next day (my last before flying out), and I accompanied her to school and developed some more of my story while she worked with a friend.

Later, I got to meet my friend Rachel for coffee, and talk about how much has changed since school, and the places we're at. She's in seminary and took time out of her crazy end-of-year assignment crunch for me, which was great. It's funny the depth you can have when talking with friends you have things in common with, right off the bat, and it's not unwelcome, know what I mean? I'm not really expressing it the best, but I was so encouraged by Rachel and our talks, in my life, in my faith, in my creative efforts. I hope that was mutual, that I encouraged her as well. She's a terrific photographer, by the way, so check out her photo blog if you wish:)

That evening, I got together with Amanda, a dear friend with whom I also lived in first year, along with her husband and new baby. I had missed her sense of humour! and insights, and it was neat to witness her at this stage in her life and be reconnected.

So ended my wonderful journey- one that not only physically distanced me from whence I had come, but in other ways, giving me resolve in some aspects of my life, and freedom in others.

Since I couldn't come up with any equal synonyms, you may have found this post repeating a common thread- that of encouragement. I was astounded how much I was uplifted by meeting again with dear friends and relatives, and how much they have enriched, and still do, my life in so many ways. In a time where I often struggle with what I'm even good at or want to do in life, I have been given the boon of affirmation when it was not expected, and I treasure that. It's not always this conclusive of a feeling, but for now, I really sense I have some direction I can take with some of these decisions.

To each of you that has contributed to this, I thank you, inadequately, but deeply.


...I almost forgot, the chocolate stetsons reference is in regards to some of these that were being sold in the Calgary airport:)

Scribblings and scrabblings

What does that even mean, you ask? Well, the next stop on my "western tour" as I like to call it (heheh) was Edmonton, and I had the privilege of experiencing art of both the written and visual kind. It was balm to my soul...did I say that already?...and I started to feel like I could really join this world, this type of genre. Isn't it crazy to think that we can actually pursue our dreams? For some reason it's a radical thought sometimes for me.

Anyways, I got to spend some time with my cousin Julie and her family, and attend a poetry reading as part of the Edmonton Poetry Festival, which she is involved with. Not sure what to expect, as last time I had been to one with her, I was so much younger, insecure and not really able to take in the poetry as well. This time, I felt like a peer, like I belonged here, and the poetry was punctuated by a harpist playing between readers; it was enriching, inspiring, and I went home and wrote three poems out of it.

That's what art should be, I realized then- it should make you want to create something yourself. Art begets more art, then.

We ate at a vegetarian restaurant on Whyte Ave and had a wonderful conversation about our lives, our likes and so on. She's brilliant, and profound, and I appreciate her insights and advice.

Julie and me

My friend Sharlene, with whom I stayed, was a wonderful host. We lived together in first year and have stayed in touch (you may remember her from when she came to Toronto and we went to the CN Tower). I have to say, she really spoiled me in humouring my whims, which resulted in trying to find one poetry reading location in a sketchy part of the city- I owe her for that one!One evening, I met her at her workplace, and we headed downtown to the Alberta Art Gallery. If you get a chance to go, I would highly recommend the experience; the glass and metal structure is remarkable, and I love how the staircase is situated.

When we went, there was a special exhibit on Degas («je raffole de Degas!»), and it was incredible! The bronze statue of the 14-year-old dancer was highlighted as part of it, and I so badly wanted to take a picture but I don't think the museum employee seated just next to it would have been too thrilled. I've seen photos of it, but they don't do it justice- you have to see it from all angles, in my opinion.

The view from the top floor, at the top of the stairs

Sharlene, striking a pose

Sweet staircase

Another friend I got to see was Lacie- we lived on the same floor on second year. It was a treat to see her again, and see her husband, and meet their cute kids. We had such a great chat at her house, and walked down the street to meet up with one of our profs who lives there now. I think we both have that spark when we get together, of just being able to pick up where you left off, and encourage each other in our goals. She's a great parent and I hope that she will pursue some of the ideas she shared with me; we both like to write and she's terrific at it.

That's my visit to Edmonton in a nutshell!